Monday, August 3, 2020

List: Ten things everyone should know before they turn 30 years old.

Yesterday I turned the ripe old age of 32 years old.  No comments on my aging years, please.  Yes, I am looking at you, cat!  Time always passes quickly, but it seems to pick up speed once you have children.  While that's true, one thing that I always seem to have time for is reflection.  Specifically around midnight when I can't seem to sleep or shut my damn brain off..  That got me thinking about the past 30+ years of my life and all of the things I wish I knew a decade ago.

30th birthday lessons; life lessons to know by 30; 30 years wise

Ten things I wish I knew before I turned 30.

1.  Stop wasting time obsessing about the past.
Memories are an amazing thing.  By all means, obsess over the good ones and constantly replay them.  While that's true, sometimes the bad memories or missed opportunities haunt us.  Big emphasis on missed opportunities!  How many times do we wish that we took that risk?!  They happened.  Obsessing over them won't change them.  You're wasting precious time replaying them.  Instead, practice acknowledging them, learning from them, and doing better next time.

2.  Avoid burning bridges.
It's easy for someone who feels singed to burn the whole freaking bridge down to the ground.  Stop.  Breathe.  Think.  Act.  Repeat until you put the torch down and take 10 steps to the right.  Sometimes we realize whatever happened wasn't serious enough to sacrifice a relationship.  Sometimes you're in a spot where you really need that relationship or referral.  It's OK to walk away from a hazard, but leave the bridge standing just in case it's wanted.

3.  Prioritize your relationships.
Whether it be family, friends, or a significant other, know their role in your life and act on it.

4.  All life is precious.
I always knew about life and death, but I never minded it until my first born.  Respect your life enough to preserve it.  Flashback of those motorcycle rides.. I cringe!  While your life is precious, so is all other's lives.  Make decisions that reflect that.  I'm talking about the bush in your yard, the bird sitting in it, & even the worm it's about to eat.

5.  Don't let your fears control you.
As a woman with intense anxiety, this is a huge one for me and something I still struggle with.  Step out of your comfort zone, face your fears, and live your life to it's full potential.  If your dream is to travel, but your afraid of planes, get on one anyways.  If you fantasize of a corporate role, but fear public speaking, get up and preach.  If you want a certificate, but fear failing a test, study harder and take it.  Whatever the fear, face it.  It makes the reward just that much better.  I promise.

6.  Spend money on memories instead of superficial items.
If you wouldn't put a picture of it in your photo album, you may want to rethink the purchase.  The same goes for expensive gifts.  Ditch the presents and gift them with your time instead.  Those Gucci sunglasses may look fabulous, but they won't make for a special memory.  I don't think..

7.  Never get too comfortable because change is constant.
Life throws curve balls at even the most mundane of creatures.  Instead of fighting it, accept it.  When you embrace the change, your efforts will go into making it a positive impact on your life.  When you fight it, you waste your efforts on something that's inevitable.  ...or sometimes your resistance just makes the change evolve into something even worse...  Sometimes being open to change may help present new, desired opportunities to come your way.

8.  Save some money for a rainy day.
This may seem like an obvious one, but we sometimes don't believe it until a downpour.  Open a savings account and make a habit of adding money to it on a routine basis.  If the rainy day never comes, you'll have the extra funds to splurge on a dream vacation.

9.  Learn your way around a kitchen.
For the sake of your health and finances, be capable of making your own meals regularly.

10.  Always be mindful of others.
Selfish, narcissistic, self obsessed behavior is running rampant these days.  Thanks, social media..  Remember to be mindful of how your actions and words could effect other people.  Appreciate other people's kindness and return it.  Apologize when you make a mistake.  Open your eyes and help those who need it, even if it's just a small gesture of assistance.  ...and, for the love of God, don't post about it on social media for attention.  Stop thinking you're the smartest mammal on the planet and bullying people to think your way.  Donate resources to charity, whether it be time, money, necessities, or the occasional luxury.  Be reliable.  Answer your phone.  Help when asked.  Show up when promised.  No one likes a flake.  Finally, learn to listen.  Blabbing is a lot of fun, but a mutual conversation is better.

What would you tell a younger you?


  1. You are still young, doctors deem you young till 33 or 34, after that you're no longer young even for them LOL
    I cannot remember where I was and what was I like at that age, but I do remember that I wasn't comfortable reaching the round number.
    The only advice I'd always give to any young person is to never think that you have time, enjoy and do everything now, don't wait for years to pass because the time is the cruellest thing of them all and it passes so quickly you don't even notice it, which is why you always have to use it well and make everything happen instead of waiting for it to happen... at least if you can, of course. People, especially young people, usually don't realize that the moment we live in is the moment we should fully enjoy and appreciate as it won't come back. So enjoy your lovers, your friends, your kids, your family, food, sex, while you can and while you are young.

    1. So I only got (1) more year of youth according to the doctors?? LOL I was blow drying my hair yesterday in a weird position and saw what I thought was a stretch mark. I got so upset, but I couldn't find it again that night.

      That's the best advice that I've heard in a long time!! Enjoy it all now. My mom put her life on hold for other people. By age 40 she got super sick and has been confined to a hospital or one room condo since. Ever since, I try to pack our life with enjoyment and fun activities just in case.

    2. Yes, after that they will consider you an old lady at the doctors. If you give birth after the age of 33 they consider you an older pregnant woman and you get a special treatment :)
      I'm all covered in stretch marks as I had around 100kg when I was a teen, just use body lotion a few times a week to maintain the hydration of your skin. I use Dove, naturally, even though my stretch marks are beyond repairable, but it does smooth them out. I believe vitamin E is very important for them.
      Yes, we forget to enjoy the moment, for example while you sit at the dinner table, don't do it in a hurry, enjoy every bite, enjoy the beauty of your loved ones around you every second of it etc. pay attention to what they say and tell you, enjoy other people's souls, stories, experiences, even looks, because that is what life is.
      My taxi driver once told me that he keeps waking up cranky every day and I told him he must find beauty in everything: like if you are driving your cab in the rain, don't get angry because it is muddy and rainy, find something beautiful in it - the shine of the raindrops for example, the sound... That is the key to happiness, focusing on joy instead of the bad things. He said he hates waking up early in the morning to go to work, I told him to focus on his sleeping wife's face when he wakes up and it will turn his early mornings into something he enjoys. Assuming his wife does not have a moustache, as she does not :)

    3. Reading the reminding me of the movie Saw! If you ever saw it, you know the psychopath would make people cut off limbs and stuff b/c they didn't appreciate life enough. I remember one scene "Saw" told someone that they drink a cup of tea without actually tasting the tea.

    4. I love this, Dezzy. So true. Live in the now. Stop planning for "some day" and do it now (if you can that is). Most of my dad's side of the family has died in their 40's, so "some day" isn't an option for me. It's either we do it now, or we may not get the chance. My money goes towards experiences, not material things. I mean, yes, I will treat myself every once in a great while, but overall, it's the memories that last, not the possessions.

  2. All good ones indeed. But that rainy day never comes becomes it is always raining lol the cat doesn't have to mention the whole closer to 40 thing here, as he already did elsewhere.

    Being reliable is a big one, hate it when people say they will do something and then they don't. I'll burn that bridge to the ground and piddle on the ashes after a while lol

    Mine would be to get a job that pays well because work sucks and you may as well have one that allows you to enjoy life outside of work. And don't think you can't do it, when push comes to shove you can do darn near anything.

    1. I didn't think I had to, but now maybe I will edit the post to include "Don't burn bridges AND piddle on the ashes". lol I agree on the job that pays well and that you enjoy. Still think you should look into the audiobooks. Partly b/c I want to hear your fake accents and part because it's lucrative on your schedule once you get past that entry level stage. Agree that when push comes to shove you can do anything.

  3. All good ones and I also agree with Dez to do things now and not put it off. I wish my husband and I had not been so concerned about saving money before we had kids. I’d tell my old self to go to Hawaii and Europe! Now we are in the position of having the money but not the time due to work and family obligations. Another thing I’d tell my younger self is to not eat processed foods,

    Happy Birthday! Your birthday is my wedding anniversary!

    1. That's great advice, especially with the vacations. Do them while you can! We try to do little getaways here and there, but are dying to go to Europe. We talked about getting tickets to go to France now while they are so low.. but it's also risky b/c you don't know how far in advance to book with the pandemic.

      It must be a good day! Happy anniversary. :)

  4. Happy birthday, we were born just a few days apart. I turn 32 on the 10th

  5. I agree with all of this. I think you learn in your 30's that you really don't care what other people think of you so much. I know I stopped worrying about other's opinions of me once I hit my 30's. My 20's I was always obsessing about if I looked ok, if I was going to fit in, how other's saw me. Now, I don't care. I know those who love me, love me for me, not some image I'm trying to create for myself so people will like me. Once I hit 30, I just felt freer.

    1. I wish I was there. I try not to show it, but I'm super self conscious and worrying what other people will think. My family is super judgmental and I'm constantly trying to preplan life to avoid their comments. I have to learn to stop. Maybe 33 is the year for that? LOL I love that you guys are able to do so much traveling while you're young and healthy. My grandparents did a few trips to visit family in Italy.. then kept delaying their most recent attempt to go. It's been ten years and I think they finally submitted to the fact that they'll never get there again.

    2. A few snarky come backs will shut them up, I'm sure. When I was diagnosed with my autoimmune disorder, I learned that the stress family could cause wasn't worth keeping some of them around. I did cut some people out of my life because I don't think you should feel obligated to put up with crap just because you share some of the same genes. I hope you do get to the point of learning to live for yourself and say "to hell with what other's think." I hope 33 is the year for you!


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