Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Let's Discuss: When is it OK to be judgmental?

Ladies and gentleman, I have a confession to make.
Against all of my personal beliefs, I engaged in an argument with a troll.
A random troll on Twitter came at me for no reason at all and I'm ashamed to admit that I responded.
Normally I roll my eyes and move on when I see something that I disagree with, but this time I couldn't.

to judge or not to judge; why are people so judgmental; discussion is it ok to be judgmental; walk whitman quotes; judgmental quotes

"Be curious, not judgmental"  -Walt Whitman

I was checking my social media accounts when I noticed a new message come through.
The message was from a younger woman that I didn't recognize.  The message said as follows.


After browsing through your blog I notice that you have men that already have had women.  To be a man's first love is the only thing that matters.  If you are not their first love then whatever love you have doesn't matter.  I hope your children learn this because you do not.

God bless"

Um, what in the what did I just read?!  And WHY do I feel the need to respond???
This message was clearly from a human being, not a bot, and it was sent with animosity.
Several things crossed my mind at this point, but mostly the 4 Ws - What? Where? When? & WHY?!
What is the purpose of this message other then to offend a stranger?
Where are you that you are so damn bored that you creep random people online to troll??
When did you become so almighty that you have the right to judge others?!
But most importantly, WHY do you care?

I calmly responded to the woman that expecting to be a man's first love is an immature thought.
Instead you should strive to be a man's last true love or at least their strongest love.
She went on to tell me how I'm going to Hell and some other unworldly comments she felt the need to say.
At that point I stopped responding because I usually know better than to argue with crazy.

This whole situation got me thinking.  We've become a very judgmental society.
You are not better than me and I am certainly not better than you.
Your way or your opinion may differ from mine, but it doesn't make it better or worse.
You may like to roll around in grass while I prefer to dance on cement, but both is fine.
You may have a rough past while I was privileged.  We should empathize with one another, not hate.
You may dream of being a man's first love while I strive to be his last, but, who cares!

I get that it's easier to say then to actually do, but let's strive to get there.
...or, at the very least, not troll strangers on Twitter just to pass judgement...
My new goal is to become less judgmental and I hope it becomes your too.

When is it OK to be judgmental?


  1. You should've exposed this Karen and told us her name so that she could be publicly shamed for being a Karen. She obviously lives with a hell in her mind, poor goose. I bet her husband has women on the side because how could you get any love from such cynical wreck of a woman?

    1. Right? Have you ever? & in all honesty, how would she even know? She's just assuming. She's right, but it's technically still an assumption. What a sad, pathetic life that you feel the need to find random strangers online to shame in private message. OH, after I responded and she sent the second message, she kept rambling about how her man is her last and first love. She's spreading the word so that people like me raise our children right. blah blah blah I wanted so badly to respond "What happens when your man leaves you? Can you never love again?", but I didn't. No point in arguing with a lunatic.

  2. This confuses me on so many levels. She commented on your Twitter about your blog? And what is she even trying to say? Did you blog about your husband’s past gf and this is what she’s referencing?

    I don’t think it’s ever ok to be judgmental about strangers, but that seems to be the main point of social media these days. It’s beyond insane. People hiding behind a screen name spewing venom. The amount of hatred out there is terrifying. I’ve found that it’s best to completely ignore those types because they are looking for a reaction and it bothers them most to not get attention.

    1. I'm just as confused as you! She didn't mention my blog, but the link is on my twitter page. And I never, ever talked about my husband's ex on my blog or anywhere. I have zero issues with his ex and have never even met her! I agree with you about ignoring them. Typically I do, but this was just so absurd that I couldn't stop myself.

  3. I luckily haven't experienced a real troll on my blog Twitter. Trolls are an exception, I hold back no fury.

  4. That's sad. I'm sorry she did that. Or at least we think it's a she. For all we know, it's a guy just randomly trolling women just because. I'm glad you choose to be better and not bitter. That shows your true character.


  5. Did you ever hear the story about the man in the arena? I encourage you to watch the the following YouTube video if you have time and then afterwards, you may be able to tell yourself that this woman does indeed has a seat in your arena, but there is no reason that you have to listen to her. I hope you find the video as as inspiring as I did:
    This week I have been telling myself: "I approve of myself." Sometimes we just need our self to know that we don't have to heed unsolicited external validation. We are enough. Keep doing your thing! You have got this!

  6. hahahaha wtf? That is rather random. You are so going to hell though. You responded to a troll. That just lost you a whole bunch of points hahahaha well there was my laugh for the day.

    We are all judgmental in some form, but then we have to remember to put ourselves in the others shoes. This woman is clearly a quack though.

  7. Well, it takes all kinds to make the world go round, doesn't it? I think it's hilarious and would have had a great time messing with her if I got a message like that, but you're right. Sometimes it's just better to block the crazies.


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