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Monday, May 18, 2020

List: Ten real life struggles for short people.

While walking around the block as a family, my husband had quite the scare.  I was jogging towards a large branch that probably could have decapitated me in the right circumstances.  He screamed like, really screamed, L O U D "Jax, watch that branch!!!!!!!".  He scared me enough to turn around and look at him, but I never stopped jogging.  I jogged right under that branch and honestly never even saw it until way after the fact.  Truth be told, I cleared that dangling branch by about half a foot.  I was at no real risk of decapitation.  His look of fear almost immediately turned into laughter and short people jokes.
As if I'm not self conscious enough these days with my growing biceps and butt.  Hmph..  That got me thinking.  There is sometimes a perk to being short.  You don't get knocked out by low hanging, strong branches while jogging.


real life struggles of short people; short people funny; jokes about short people

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Ten real life struggles for short people.


1.  You can't just "hang" in the pool.
When you're 5' tall, that meme above is exactly what you look like while hanging out in the pool.  Add this to the long list of reasons why I'm not a fan of pool days.  It's low on the list, but it's there!

2.  You need large, barbecue sized tongs to reach things.
At least twice a day you can find me in the kitchen trying to reach things with my giant, metal tongs.  At 5' tall, unless an item is towards the front of the lowest shelf in the cabinet, I can't reach it!

Ideas:  Think I'm kidding?  These tongs are the EXACT tongs I use to function in life.  They also make the ultimate short person gift.  Just make sure they have a sense of humor before purchasing.

3.  You need large, barbecue sized tongs to empty the washing machine.
Years ago I literally fell into a washing machine trying to reach the last sock lingering on the bottom.  Ever since that day, I learned to bring my handy tongs to pick up the clothes on the bottom of the machine.

4.  Your 5 year old is almost the same size as you.
Imagine hearing from your 5 year old "we're almost the same size".  My least favorite is when she says "Soon I'll be bigger than you and then I can make the rules".

5.  You look ridiculous holding any baby older than 6 months.
You know this is a very true statement if you follow me on Facebook or Instagram.  When you're 5' tall, a 6 month old baby is about half your body.  Hence my unnaturally large biceps..

6.  You're forced to submit to never seeing anything, ever.
Unless you're sitting dead center in a front row, you're never going to see what's going on ever.  You'll find yourself strategically accompanied by people who will answer the question "What's happening?".

7.  You have to scale the shelves in the grocery store often.
I'm still not sure what's more embarrassing, bringing my tongs or climbing up the shelves.  When you're five feet tall, there's a good chance that you'll have to climb the shelves each grocery run.  For the record, the shelves don't feel sturdy or safe, but that's where Target put it's raisin bread!

8.  Every hug with someone over 5'6 is really awkward.
If someone isn't considerate enough to bend down awkwardly, my face gets sucked into their gut.  For the record, if you're tall and I do my best to avoid a hug, it isn't you.  It's me.

9.  When your peers or subordinates don't take you seriously at work.
When you're child sized, it's common to get people who don't think you can act like a boss lady.  Don't mistake my tiny stature for an inability to do my job.  Besides, I'm naturally really loud.

10.  You can't shop in the regular stores.
One the things I hate the absolute most about being so short is the inability to shop at most stores.  If the store doesn't have a petite section, there's no point of me even walking through the doors.  Most clothes fit me awkwardly.  I leave the store feeling extra self conscious and with empty hands.

Did you ever have a near miss?


12 comments :

  1. Funny that you are short but yet very loud :) I've often noticed that short men dress better than regular or tall men, go figure.

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    1. The loudness is from genetics and environment, I think. We are a very loud family and NYers always seem to be a little louder and more excitable than everyone else. I noticed the same! When I worked at my dad's dry cleaners there was a guy that would come in under 5'5. He always had the nicest clothes and cars.

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  2. I had no idea that you were 5' tall. I haven't noticed in pictures! My grandmother was only 4'11" and I don't ever remember being shorter than her! Lol on #4! I'm a bit over 5'8", so tall for a woman. I always wanted to be cute and petite! But I do appreciate it now. Though I've had to scale a shelf or two to get the last item of things on the top shelf. I'm always worried I'll get yelled at!

    My Middle Chikd is 5'2 and it's impossible for her to find pants. I swear hardly any stores carry petites and even then, they are still too long. I don't know how you do it!

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    1. That's so funny! My husband is 6'3 so I thought it was extremely noticeable. LOL Has your daughter ever tried stitch fix? They come through with great clothes for petite women. There is a line of jeans called Pistola. They are a little pricey, but don't even require a hem!

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  3. lol well I guess it is good you came up short in that situation. Not selling yourself short there, as you did good getting the short end of the stick. Made short work of Carlos's yelling as you cut a long story short. Beats being a day late and a dollar short. What? I could have shortened it but I didn't want you to have a short fuse and stop short with me.

    Who wants to swim in pee anyway? lol Clothes must be a pain in the butt indeed. But at least you can have your daugther's hand me downs one day hahaha But another good thing about being short, when you walk through nature bears won't see you as a meal and go for the bigger meal first.

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    1. I knew you'd have some short jokes to tell so I was braced for that. LOL You did get a chuckle out of me with the hand me downs. The other night I wore her hoodie outside and we do share from time to time. Oh the shameee.

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  4. I think I'm average height, but I still have to scale the grocery shelves every now and again. I guess having a husband is useful sometimes as I tend to yell for him to grab things for me every now and again LOL

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    1. If I had to ask my husband to reach things for me every time, he may ask for a divorce. LOL I remember when we put the crib down last year because Antonio was standing. Ever since he has to carry the sleeping baby to his crib each night because I can't reach the mattress over the crib walls! He complains about that one nightly task.

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    2. Oh no! I also had a hard time laying the babies down when we had to lower the crib. I remember lots of bruised ribs back then from trying my best to lean over the railing.

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  5. You have proven to the reader that a person's physical size cannot be a role model of whether or not a company leader is worthy. And you have proven it well.

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  6. I remember being that short in a pool in middle school. I'm well above that now.

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