Monday, February 24, 2020

List: Ten things that I hope to never try.

We recently hosted a small dinner party with my husband's good friend and his wife.
The menu was relatively simple.  We had glazed ham, baby potatoes, brussel sprouts, and salad.
His friend helped himself to everything on the table except for the brussel sprouts.
I tried to not take personal offense since his problem was with the veggie itself, but I failed.  Miserably.
I encouraged him to try at least a small bite of one since everyone compliments my sprouts, but he refused.
After I maybe got a just a little tiny bit annoying, he made a loud and very stern announcement.
"I have never eaten a brussel sprout in my life and I want to die that way."
This took me by complete surprise.  How can you hate something to that extreme without ever trying it?
What about a brussel sprout offends you so terribly that you're life goal is to die without eating one?
I could keep going because I was left with many questions at this absurd statement, but I won't.

Two weeks passed, and I am still bothered by this brussel sprout incident.
I keep catching myself thinking about his grand announcement and how absurd it was.
That's when I started mentally noting all of the things that I hate enough to strive to never experience.

hating without trying; brussel sprouts

Ten things I hope to never try.

1.  Mashed Garlic
Years and years ago, I traveled to Greece with an old boyfriend to meet his family.
Whiling dining at his grandmother's, she served us each a large portion of mashed garlic.  
Picture mashed potatoes, without the potatoes.  Bleh.  Gag.  Barf.
I prayed to God for something to happen so I would not have to gag down the mashed garlic.
That's when God delivered and I experienced my first and only earthquake.
It was strong enough for his Yiayia to forget about the mashed garlic and the agita of a lifetime.

2.  Fried Tarantula
A high school friend recently posted a video of her trying new foods while in a foreign country.
One video was of her chowing down open mouthed on a freshly fried tarantula.

3.  Surfing
As previously posted, I have fears of drowning, sea creatures, sea creature poop, and large bodies of water.
I may get hot enough on vacation to dip my toe in the ocean or wade in a pool, but it's at low risk.
Surfing is probably great exercise, but it's something that I'd never want to try.
Yes, this includes surfing in a pool with the simulated waves.  No thanks!

4.  Scuba Diving
Please see #3.  The only exception is, I think I'd rather take my chances surfing than scuba diving.

5.  Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers
I recently saw a cooking video on this and wanted to throw up right then and there.
...and I didn't even get to the cooking part!  
She was just cleaning them with water, because you clean grasshoppers before you eat them.  Obviously.

6.  Drink a White Russian
Milk alone skeeves the crap out of me.  I always use almond milk to substitute when cooking.
The combination of vodka and milk or cream makes me want to gag, let alone take a sip of it.

7.  Sky Diving
As much as I hate water, I dislike flying.  It takes pills and alcohol to get me on a relatively safe flight.
There's nothing in the world that can get me to jump out of a plane to free fall back to planet Earth.
...AND pay for it??  Imagine!!  Here's $300 for you to drop me really high up in the air.  No way!

8.  Pierce a Nipple
I don't consider myself a prude, but exotic piercings make zero sense to me.
I don't understand why people go out of their way to deform their body.
 Especially something as sensitive as their nipple!

9.  Balut
My buddy is from the Philippines and they take pride when they serve balut.
Balut is a fertilized duck egg that is boiled before being eaten directly from it's eggshell.
They eat the unhatched duckling whole.  That includes the eyes, bones, and feathers.  They eat it all.

10.  Pig Eyes
Going back to my days in Greece, for large holidays they feast on a roasted pig on a stick.
They fillet the pig and eat it whole.  They then wrap the intestines around a second stick to eat too.
I'm kind of, sort of ok with those two.  What kills me is that one lucky person gets honored each feast.
That lucky person gets to eat the pig eyes. 
My ex told me that they taste like cheese.  Excuse while I go hurl at that memory..

What is something you hope to never try in your entire life?


  1. Admittedly, sprouts are one of those types of foods you shouldn't make for unknown guests, deary. I do love them, but I personally never eat them as my tummy cannot digest them for some reason, I used to eat all cabbagy veggies before and then I grew intolerant on them for some reason. And have in mind sprouts do make people fart, imagine farting while visiting someone....
    I'd never try any meat in my life, nor wear any fur or leather even if my life depended on it.

    1. hahahaha Your comment has me laughing at the farting part. To be fair, I made salad too because I knew that sprouts weren't all that popular. I was just shocked at his hatred for something he never tried before!! This dinner party was a few months back. On Saturday, we went to his house and I have all new stories. This man is a character! The worst part was the stench of his home when you walked through the door. My daughter grabbed her nose and screamed out "It stinks in here." I almost died from embarrassment, but it was so dirty that I couldn't bring myself to eat the food!

    2. Then we can only wonder how the smell of sprouts does not remind him of the 'sweet' stench of home :) I once visited a friend whose home reeked of fried meat because she was on the meat diet. I thought I would die there... imagine my poor vegetarian soul....

    3. The smell of sprouts was like perfume compared to his house. It smelled like part wet dog, part cigarettes, and part crab. lol Fried meat? We fry chicken over here, but I don't think it really causes a smell. Then again, I don't have a vegetarian nose.

  2. Oh boy, do I ever agree with every single one of your things to never try! I will add bungee jumping to the list. I think you know this, but my new DIL is Chinese and would you like to hear what she considers a treat? Charred bunny head. How disturbing is that? I guess it's a popular food in Chengdu and Anthony Bourdain did a segment on it, which I watched and tried not to barf!

    1. OMG!!!!!! Is there even any meat on the head? What do they eat from it?! I'll add a #11 and #12 to this list, and both of yours are now on it. lol

    2. I didn't ask because I don't want to know! The funny thing is that when my son went over there with her, he ate all sorts of gross things, but apparently drew the line at bunny head! LOL!

    3. lol, well, if you ever find out, please let me know. I'm curious. ex used to eat all sorts of nastiness too. It's a different culture. I remember when he mom served cow tongue. yuck!

  3. lol he sure went on about the brussel sprouts. You not letting it go though? Yeah, that I can picture.

    I think I'll skip darn near everything, scratch that, everything on your list too. I'd jump out of a plane if the plane was crashing. Scuba diving, maybe, be being shark bait, no thanks. So yeah, skip it all. And piercing a body part like nipple or pecker, no thank you.

    Also, will never eat cow testicles like some do at a cow ball festival. Soooo nasty. I think I could make a list of 100.

    1. Well, you wouldn't let it go either. It was just a bizarre statement. He should have at least tried them. If he didn't like it, ok, fine. But at least he tried it!! Is a cow ball festival an actual thing?? But WHY and WHERE?!

    2. Pffft I'd let it go. As me and food have no love what so ever.

      There is a place in the states where they do it, forget where.

  4. I would never want to try those things either, except scuba diving. I would like to try that some day.

    Allison tried feeding me chocolate covered crickets a few months back. Ugh! No thank you!

    I agree with Dezzy about the sprouts. It can be very upsetting to the tummy, so I don't normally serve those to guests. I do like them myself though, but they do cause gas so I eat them when I know I'll be alone for the night.

    1. I’m not a fan of water. The closest I’ll ever get to scuba diving is walking through an aquarium. Lol. We watched the new Terminator last night (it was awful, BTW) and the scene where the truck goes under water had me holding my breathe. Ugh I don’t even like driving over bridges bc my anxiety starts with terrible pictures like in my mind.

      They don’t really give me gas. I get gassy from things with a lot of preservatives like canned soup or Chinese take out.

    2. Glad I skipped out on adding the new Terminator to my list. That's one franchise they should have stopped a long time ago.

  5. Lots of things, skydiving certainly would scare the shit out of me.

    1. Oh, I would never EVER sky dive. I don't understand the thrill of that either. Why can't we all enjoy nice conversation over brunch instead of bonding by jumping out of an airplane!?

  6. Tarantulas, grasshoppers, and pig eyes! Oh, my! That's quite a list. I don't want to try any of those, either. I've never eaten brussel sprouts, probably because my mom never fixed them and when they've been part of a buffet I could choose from other veggies. If I came to your house and the sprouts were the only vegetable and you encouraged me to try them, then I would do it. It's not as if you're trying to get people to eat bugs.


    1. A member of my father's family died scuba diving. She was a beautiful young girl--about 18.

    2. I'm so sorry to hear that! That cements my fear. I will never, ever scuba dive. If I want to see the fish in their natural habitat (which I don't), I'll youtube it and leave the diving to the professionals.

    3. I will never scuba dive. No way.

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