Monday, February 10, 2020

List: How to differentiate between a nice person and a stalker.

There seems to be a large group of people out there that have lost faith in humanity.  It's become assumed that people aren't nice just for the sake of being nice.  Many believe that people may appear to be nice, but it's only to benefit in some sort of long con.  By people, I mean cat.  A certain rhyming cat is under the impression that nice is extinct.  In an effort to restore the faith, I presented a real life example to be dissected.  The proposed result - That person isn't nice, they are a stalker.  Well, wasn't that a bit of a leap!  Just saying..

Luckily, I'm here to tell you all that nice people do exist.  People do good deeds all the time without expecting something in return.  Furthermore, people do nice things without anyone ever knowing because they don't even want recognition.  I've seen my dad lend thousands of dollars to someone that could never repay him.  & I was sworn to secrecy..  I've personally saved someone desperately in need of a job from getting laid off without even their knowledge.  A friend of mine recruited several of her family members to help me move when I couldn't afford a fee.  Neither she nor her family let me do anything for them more than a thank you card.  I could list hundreds of more examples, but I'll save you all the headache.

Long story short - Genuinely nice people that are nice for the sake of being nice do exist.  Even shorter story - Genuinely nice people aren't always stalkers.
Peep the "always", because sometimes they are.  Be aware.

how to know someone if someone is a stalker

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How to tell if someone is a stalker.

1.  Differentiate between special treatment for one and nice to all.
If an individual goes out of their way to be nice to only you, there's a chance you may have a stalker.  If they are nice to everyone, then there's zero need to worry because no one has time to stalk all that!  If they are stalking everyone, hide immediately.  That's a serial stalker which is very bad..

2.  Take note of what type of pictures they ask for, if any.
A person taking general interest in something like your babies, cosmetics, or hobby can ask for a pic.  A person asking for pictures of your pajamas, feet, or bathtub are definitely creepy and possibly a stalker. 

3.  Observe general conversation for inquiries on your daily routine.
General conversation and common pleasantries are nice.  This includes asking about weekend activities.  Except if they take notes.  If they are taking notes during your conversation they're a stalker,  so please run!  Inquiries on your daily routine and schedule are an obvious cause for concern.  Unless they are your life assistant, there is zero need to know where someone is all the time.

4.  Be aware of their awareness of you.
My nice guy takes notice when I change my shade of lipstick or get my hair done.  This is nice.  A stalker takes awareness of a change in a daily routine - such as a parking spot or route home.  There's a difference between someone letting you know that you're noticed and someone acting like a spy.

5.  Wave a red flag if they request very personal information.
This could include your social security number, bank accounts, and your brother's MIL's sister's address.  With the exception of your birthday for a cake or your address for a card, only a potential stalker may ask for more "just because".

6.  Keep track of the times that they open their wallet for you.
A coffee here and a lunch there is all acceptable in the world of nice people and friends.  Tiffany bracelets, jewel trimmed crowns, and fish net stocks are all gift items that scream stalker.  It's up to you if you accept the gifts.  A gift giving stalker may not be all that bad.  We won't judge.

7.  Observe how well they allow you to keep your privacy.
A nice person will turn away when you get a text instead of trying to get a peak of who said what.  A nice person will turn a deaf ear or allow you to walk away during a private phone call.  A nice person would never, ever go through your things or try to peep through a bathroom stall.  Stalkers will do otherwise.

8.  Heed the warning of lies and exaggerations meant to impress you.
Sometimes people will make an excuse to speak to you with casual conversation.  This is nice.  Other people will fake a heart attack in the Costco parking lot in the hopes that you'll give them attention.  No, that's not a random line.  It's something that actually happened to me in real life with a stalker..

9.  Think about what they have to gain by your friendship.
A nice person is nice without anything to gain from it.  This could include things, popularity, or opportunities.  If they make a habit of asking for favors, looking for job opportunities, or rummage through your panties..  chances are that your nice person isn't all that nice.  In fact, they could actually be a stalker.

10.  If a rhyming cat says so, then it must be.
The last and final test is to run it by the rhyming cat who thinks he knows all.  He will ask you a few specific questions and ask for additional, supporting examples.  Before you know it, he will tell you all that you need to know.  Be warned.  The result is almost always "stalker"..

Idea:  If you're looking for a classic book that describes a relationship that went from love to obsession to STALKER, then you need to click here for information on the book Wuthering Heights.

How do you tell the difference?


  1. If someone stalks everyone, that guy must have all the time in the world.

    When we had a "funny" manager at Publix which is a grocer is the southern united states who called me baby.

    But he called everyone baby, so I guess we tolerated that as his slang from wherever he grew up.

    He got fired for sexual harassment. Oh baby, was nobody shocked.

    1. I hope he did more than call someone baby to get fired! I have a bad habit of saying “ladies” at work. Apparently this offends people too so I need to learn to stop before I’m next to be fired! Lol

  2. hahaha geez, now you go and twist the cat's words to try and dig yourself out of the stalker hole. Yes, nice people do exist and they do nice things. But no way is someone NICE to someone all the time and doesn't want to at least ummm do certain things. Nope. Never. Cat stands by that lol

    And yeah, if someone fakes a heart attack, best to fake running them over with your car.

    And if they want your personal info. They just want to send you riches from King Abubu, right? Foot fetish pics are a clear sign too. Next they'll ask to pee on you. A real thing, sadly.

    The cat will still go with stalker, or maybe a boyfriend on the side with stalker tendencies lol

    1. I’m not twisting your words. You just said it again!! Genuinely nice people who are nice all of the time do exist. Six years of nothing in return is hard core proof that I found a genuinely nice person. Smh, I’m going to start thinking everyone’s jealous. But, maybe if people let their guard down, they’d find a nice person too!

      My ex (LLS, the guy who inspired me to create R&W) did that to me. As he start shaking, grabbing his chest, and falling to the ground, I pushed my cart inside and kept shopping. I think that was the last time I saw him too. His mother called me and left a voicemail about how dare I leave her son in the parking lot suffering from his fake heart attack. Lol.

      The real stalker asks for pictures all the time. My favorite is the daily “what are you wearing” text. CLOTHES! What do you expect me to be wearing? A hamburger? Mr. Nice Guy doesn’t ask for pictures or to pee on me. Hmph! More proof I’m right.

      That cat can go with that, but I still declare myself the winner. :)

    2. Nope. They don't exist. No one is nice all the time to everyone. That is just in a disney movie. All have bad days. Everyone is jealous? Pffft so in denail lol

      That is just stupid. You left my son while he was having a fake heart attack. How rude are you. lmao some parents are idiots.

      More than one type of stalker, just fyi.

    3. Ok, maybe not all the time, but 95% of the time. I'll account the 5% of the time for an off day. Yea, his mother created that beast. I remember the first time he left the state with me to visit my cousin. He had several melt downs with tears and punches. It was the weekend from hell. We arrive home, and his mom has a cake for him that says "Well Done" because traveled out of state for the first time. He was 22!!!!!!

      Please, educate me. What are the different types of stalkers? This should be good.

    4. lol he sure was a momma's boy and then some. That is just very sad.

      Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. You agree. Not nice all the time. Cat wins.

      Cat already gave you the different types on the other place. Don't get greedy and ask twice

  3. I cannot stand cynical people and if you are a good caring person you don't need them in your life! I usually feel sad for them, because they take even the purest goodness with suspicion.

    1. I like to think I'm a good, caring person. I'm definitely not perfect, but I can confidently say that I try my best. It's become common to give someone side eye for being nice these days. It's incredibly sad! I see these videos all over social media of people being decent people. It makes no sense to me. Why do people need to "spread awareness" of others being nice? Nice people do exist and they don't always want something out of it.

    2. I did my good deeds quote today: I helped some old lady take money from the cashmachine (she even told me her credit card code LOL), then I explained some old lady in the supermarket how to prepare instant oatmeal (it was a novelty for her, go figure), and then I helped my friend bring some boxes with goods into her healthfood shop. I might end up on Facebook today LOL

    3. LOL All those good deeds should get you at least one facebook shout out! If we're all being honest here, I don't know how to make instant oatmeal either. I can make the most complicated recipe from memory, but instant oatmeal stumps me. It overflows on the microwave all the time and then I just throw it out in frustration.

  4. Wow! I don't think I've ever had a stalker, but I might not have noticed. It was a lot harder to stalk people back in the day, before Internet. You had the phone book and were limited to USPS and your car to do drive bys! Lol, ask me how I know.

    1. I've had a few mini stalkers, but only one that seriously scared me. I had to move out of my apartment in the middle of the night for fear that he'd find out where I lived!

      How did you know?! lol

    2. My friends and I stalked some guys in HS. I posted about it once. It involved notes in mailboxes and a lot of drive bys.

  5. Thankfully, I haven't ever had a stalker. We are generally nice people in my house, but we try to hide our good deeds. I think bragging about how you helped someone not only makes you look like a self-important ass, but it also embarrasses the recipient.

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