Wednesday, July 27, 2016

List: Ten things I learned my first year of marriage.


Marriage: The legally or formally recognized union of two partners in a relationship.

With my first anniversary on my brain, all I can think of is "marriage".  After a whole year of marriage, I can officially say that it ain't as easy as that definition sounds.  It takes a lot of work, compromise, and forgiveness.  This post is going to deep dive into those reflections.


first anniversary; just married; newlyweds; marriage advice;

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10 things learned after one year of marriage.

1.  You will never be happy unless you learn to compromise.
Everyone does things their own way.  It's important to recognize this and meet in the middle.  People don't get divorced over the way your husband folds a hand towel.  Instead, they gain perspective and realize it doesn't really matter.

Idea:  If you both can't settle on the proper way to fold, try investing in one of these tools to settle the matter.  You'll end up with perfectly folded clothes every time!

2.  Get into a rhythm that works for the entire family.
Your married life will become much smoother once a daily routine is developed.  We stopped arguing over who will do what once we got our life's tasks down to a science.

3.  At least once a month, break the rhythm and get crazy.
That spontaneous date night that throws our entire routine out of whack is what we live for.  The routine keeps the peace and periodically breaking it keeps the happiness alive.   That is our recipe for a decent marriage, 1 cup routine + 1/4 cup spontaneity.

4.  It's cheaper to be married.
Things like car insurance, cell phone bills, and health insurance become way cheaper.  Change your mindset from "times 2" into "group discount"!

5.  You gain another family, not just a bunch of in laws.
I was blessed with my husband's amazing family, but I was ignorant to how deep you get sucked in.  You become one of the pack, for both the good and the bad.

6.  A spouse is not always your biggest cheerleader.
While we are typically supportive of each other, there have been times we flat out disagreed.  Being married means constant support, but it also means a very honest opinion.  Don't expect your hubby to squeal over your new shoes.  Instead he'll growl at the price.

7.  You will probably change as a person and it's totally OK.
As hard as you will try not to, you will probably change while adapting to your new life.  You may surprise yourself when you become more responsible, a yucca connoisseur, or adopt gardening as a new hobby.

8.  The need to constantly impress will eventually dissipate.
 Things like getting dolled up to buy milk and wearing 6 inch heels to work will become unimportant.

Idea:  Just because you're not trying to find a mate in the grocery store, doesn't mean you should let yourself go.  Keep up with yourself.  This helps you remain confident.  Makes your sweetheart feel like you still care.  & you're spouse will be more inclined to show you off!

9.  Money is both heaven and hell.
You will always have a need for more money, but it will also be the thing you fight about most.  Even the queen of budgeting will still manage to find $10 to argue over!

10.  Becoming someone's spouse doesn't make you a judge.
It's all good to give an opinion when appropriate, but don't judge every move they make.  You'll both be guilty of this one, but as long as you work on it, you're ahead of most of us.

What did marriage teach you?

7 comments:

  1. I've always thought number 8 was true

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  2. Communication is key. I'm still working on that one 30 years of marriage later.

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  3. Divorce over a hand towel might make good trashy tv though lol never knew it was cheaper for cellphones.

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  4. It's only cheaper to be married if both people work.

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  5. Nailed it. All so true. It is funny how you are instantly family once you are married according to in-laws. I felt like i was accepted and roped-in as much as possible. Then we made it official and it's even more so, it's awesome. I love his family too so it's great. Compromise is a lifeline with marriage, there is no doubt about that. And yes, money - always a topic of discussion. Like you - I love all of those discounts too!!!

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  6. Thanks for the wonderful learning. And agree with all the points.

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