Wednesday, March 16, 2016

List: Ten things to never say to your wife.

There are many things that men should really try to avoid saying to their wife.
I'm not referring to those mean, hurtful things we say in a fit of anger.
I'm referring to those silly things that just come out in a fit of verbal diarrhea.
Don't deny it!  We all have those slips of the tongue that make us think "what did I just say?".

This post is meant to be fun.  So let's keep it like that!
I'd also like to squash the reasonable assumption that my husband said most of these.

Ten things to never, ever say to your wife.

1.  "Maybe you should try that Kim Kardashian shape wear."
When I asked if I looked fat, I really wanted you to say NO.  And don't ever compare me to a Kardashian...

2.  "Dinner is great!  Can you get me a drink?"
The fact that I made and served dinner means that you can fill MY glass with a nice red!

3.  "...because I'm a man."
That is not an excuse or a justification of anything.  You and you're extra body part can leave now.

4.  "I'm not a diabetic.  Can you use more salt?!"
Just because you like things salty, doesn't mean the world does.  Get the salt shaker and SHAKE!

5.  "My friend's wife always does that herself."
Perfect!  Why don't you ask him to divorce her so that you can be with her yourself?!

6.  "Why can't you dress more conservative like your sister in law?"
First off, I dress appropriately.  Second, you had no problem with how I dressed when you asked me out!

7.  "That's the woman's job."
Just for that, I'll never do that again.  Like, ever.

8.  "I'm hungry."
That's nice.  I have to pee.

9.  "This house is a mess."
I'm glad you noticed!  The broom is in the closet and the paper towels are under the sink.

10.  "He just said or did that because he wants you."
Or, MAYBE, he's just a nice guy?  In which case, you may want to ask him for some advice.

What things do you think men should never say to their wife?

7 comments:

  1. 6 is a legit question, though :) Ain't nobody want a shame of Carry Bradshaw for a wife with her horrid fashion :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahaha to Dezzy's comment. My husband is guilty of coming home every day from work and saying "I'm starving" and I'm guilty of hardly ever having dinner prepared despite not working outside the home. Yea, I need to do better with that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lmao well when you gotta pee, you gotta pee. I know enough to keep my mouth shut in most cases, unless I want to be a sh** disturber lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Number six reminds me of Muslim women wearing the hijab. Obviously the custom came about from jealous husbands and paranoid fathers. Men are certainly hypocritical of it.

    But women can be a little too when they get the wrong type of attention. The whale-tails, yogapants/leggings, and epic cleavage gets every straight man's attention.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yikes. Hope your hubby didn't really say any of these!

    ReplyDelete
  6. hahaha - my hubby offers cooking advice yet rarely cooks. I find it hilarious rather than offensive only because he thanks me for cooking every single day and he works his ass off too ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. "That's not the way my mom does it." Self-explanatory no?

    ReplyDelete

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