Monday, December 14, 2015

List: Ten phrases that you should never EVER say to a co-worker.

I like to think of this list as an organized rant.
A co-worker recently approached me with some very inappropriate comments that pissed me OFF!

Work is supposed to be a place that is comfortable and safe.
To keep everyone happy, companies usually set certain ethical guidelines for employees to follow.
One would think these guidelines are common sense, but apparently some people need a reminder.
No worries, people.  I have absolutely no problem reminding you!

Ten phrases that you should never EVER say to a co-worker.

1.  Are you shaved or unshaved?*
I figured that I'd start with a bang!  And, yes, someone did actually ask me this last week...

2.  Tell me something hot.*
Unless you're referring to the pea soup I made the other night, go away.  Like, now.

3.  Is your child retarded?
Did you seriously just ask this mama bear such an offensive question?  I will kick you.

4.  Are you getting enough protein?
I didn't think this was such a big deal until I realized what protein he was referring to.  Bleh, gag, barf.

5.  What color underwear are you wearing?
This went along with a perverted app.  A naive, 19 year old Jax may have answered this question...

6.  Did you get a boob job?
No, it's called my period.  Oh, you don't like that answer?  Then why did you ask?!

7.  Are you pregnant?
You wouldn't believe how many times I get asked this RUDE question!!!

8.  When you get married, do you plan on getting pregnant right away?
As my manager, I'm pretty sure that you legally can't ask me that question.  Just sayin...

9.  What do you do when you're alone?*
I am so NOT even entertaining this conversation right now, pervert!

10.  What do you do in the shower?*
Do not EVER speak to me again unless it's strictly, 100% regarding work you nasty, disgusting man.

While I've been asked all of these terrible questions, the ones with the "*" were the icing on the cake.
I politely told this sad, pathetic person that if he ever speaks to me again, I'm going straight to HR.
If I had huevos, I'd go right now.  Unfortunately, I blush even saying half of those things out loud.

What inappropriate phrases have you endured at work?


  1. You just proved what the cat always says, common sense is not so common anymore. He sure sounds like a douchebag. Who would think it is appropriate to ask such questions, especially at work?

  2. Oh my! I can't recall any I've personally heard but I did once hear that this idiot blond woman in our building asked a black woman, "How do you always stay so tan?" I still have a hard time believing anyone is that stupid, but she was pretty dumb... The woman was not a light-skinned black woman, by the way. Say something that stupid and people will be talking about it for decades...

  3. "When I see you wearing those headphones, you look just like the dyke bitch who used them before you," executive editor, newspaper.

    Different newspaper: Publisher grabs my arm and twists it. I screamed at him in front of the entire newsroom not to ever touch me again.

    "When is your baby due?" server in restaurant when I was 51 years old and out with my son. My son is often mistaken for my boyfriend. I'm 56. He's 35. I am no cougar.

    Various co-workers have asked personal questions that I evaded. I have a policy of not asking work colleagues anything, even when I'm pretty sure something is wrong. If they want me to know their problems, then they will tell me.


  4. Dang! You need a new job. Sounds like you are working with 5 year old boys who get a bang out of saying "Poop!"

    I can't remember a co-worker ever asking me anything inappropriate but I usually worked with adults!

  5. Omigosh, I did often think number 3 in my head with tons of people, but probably never said it aloud :)

  6. WHAT?! I would totally go to HR right away. Who knows what other women that person is offending!

  7. Holy crap! This is one person? What an idiot. Have you told (not asked) him/her to stop? If you did and it continues go to HR about it, otherwise he/she gets away with it. No one deserves to be spoken to like that!

  8. The nice thing about being a guy is that you don't get creepy women doing this to us. Most women know that's really weird.

  9. "Do you have anxiety? You look like the type."

    Okay, yes, but anxiety doesn't have a "type".

  10. wait, I can't even believe that you were actually asked #1-3!!! Are you honestly kidding me? I'm sitting over here super offended on your behalf. The rest are really bad too. And you're right, work should be a safe spot. My gosh, people are so crazy sometimes.


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