Wednesday, October 21, 2015

List: Ten things that are scary about Halloween.

With Halloween less than 2 weeks away, I'm in full holiday mode!
I'm already inviting people to watch Mushy in a parade and I'm stock piling candy.
Not to mention, I also won the costume argument.  It's official.  Mushy will be Olaf per her request!
I have my autumn themed decorations through out the house and a pumpkin jar filled with candy corn.
We went pumpkin picking and all four of Mushy's picks are neatly displayed on the front stoop.
I also stocked my pantry with all the seasonal apple pies I could find.  Yum!!
But, as fun as this holiday is, there are many things that scare me about it.

Then things that scare me about Halloween.

1.  Fake rats sitting on people's property.
Nothing's worse than those very realistic looking rubber rats that everyone puts out.
Be honest, how many times did those toy rats make you jump?!

2.  All the missing eggs in the grocery store.
Every purchased egg carton on Halloween makes it that much more likely that you'll be egged the day of.
Have you ever been egged?  If not, believe me when i say it HURTS!

3.  All the delicious candy laying around the house.
I already went through half a bag of Pumpkin Reese's by myself, and I still got 2 weeks to go.
Ladies and gentlemen, my butt does not need those extra calories.  Get the candy away!

4.  Masked teenagers knocking on my door for candy at 9PM.
If you're old enough to be out at 9PM, you're too old to be trick or treating.
When this inevitably happens, you can't help but wonder if it's a serial killer at the door!

5.  Possible frost bite from standing outside trick or treating.
On Long Island, it's pretty freaking cold out in October, especially to be walking around in a thin costume.
Let's take a quick vote of who want's to move this holiday up a month!  Any takers?

6.  Candy that's clearly been tampered with.
It could be a simple rip or a manufacturer defect, but I'm automatically thinking it's poisoned goods.
Getting free food from strangers does not rank high on my OCD list.

7.  Teenage girls walking around in hoochie mama outfits.
Halloween is not an excuse to walk around looking skanky.
I'm all for a clever costume that's a little sexy, but walking around half naked in front of kids is not ok.

8.  The ridiculously overpriced Halloween costumes.
I refuse to spend more than $30 on a costume my baby girl will wear once.
Clearly the stores don't care about my refusal because they're all priced $50 and up!  Errr

9.  People lurking around my car.
Unfortunately, some people think of this holiday as a green light to damage people's property.
Put down the toilet paper, shaving cream, silly string, and eggs.  Now back away from my car...

10.  The men dressed up as decorations that jump up at you randomly.
It might be funny for you, but you get me and everybody else EVERY time.
Besides, you just made me pee in my overprice costume.  Not nice!!

What scares you most about Halloween?

14 comments:

  1. everything scares me about Halloween... the fact that Americans turned a day celebrating the memory on our dead ones into a consumerfest and glorification of things that should not be made fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Halloween's biggest influnce was Samhain a Gaelic festival marking the end of the harvest season

      Delete
    2. And that's a fact!

      Now, Dezz, why don't you dress up like me and scare the hell out of every kid knocking on your door? No?

      Delete
  2. I simply love Halloween. And, as much as it scared the sh*t outta me, I loved the one year when my adult neighbor just stood silently on my back deck in a full on Jason costume. OMG he got me good!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Candy that's clearly been tampered with... YIKES! You're right! Thanks for the tip.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.S. You really REALLY need to watch Back To The Future. Yes, I'm serious. :)

      Delete
  4. The nutty people out there are mainly what I keep away from in the day. Tampered candy as well is no good. Never been egged, thankfully.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I LOVE all things Halloween, but I'm with you on #7. What is with these girls? Have they no respect? (Oh wait, society doesn't teach that anymore. Where are the parents?) We do a CANDY DUMP. The kids get to eat all they want for one day. ONE. Then it disappears forever. (We may or may not consume the GOOD chocolate.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my gosh...you know what I had thought of the other night? I'm new to this neighborhood and we're located in a wooded area, away from the city, but there have been kids hanging out in front of my house late at night a few times. I had the horrifying thought that I'd wake up on November 1st to my house being toilet papered.

    As for #7...I was the girl dressing up like the pimp for Halloween and my best friend was the hoochie mama. LMAO!!!! I had an eyeliner beard and everything. :P

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love Halloween. The rubber rats, the jump scares, the candy, trick-r-treating! I admit, I hate spending so much money on costume (why this year we're going DIY with it), but that's about it :)

    ReplyDelete

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