As a follow up to Friday's post, I'd like to discuss popular red flags daters should look out for.
These lunch break conversations are proof that I wasn’t the
only one to witness these warnings.
They are also proof
that I wasn’t alone when I made an excuses and ignored these signs of danger.
My co-workers and I find comfort comparing notes and seeing
the similarities.
Together we were able to make a mental list of everything
they should be aware of in the dating world.
The men even joined in on the conversation, making it a real good learning
experience.
Luckily for all of
you, I transcribed our mental notes. Don’t
ever say Jax didn’t warn you!
Common red flags to be aware of while dating.
1. They only talk about them self.
A date is supposed to be time spent to get know each
other, not just one of you.
Sure you could say he/she’s just nervous, but chances are
they’re just selfish.
Don’t want to heed my
warning? Go on date #2 and see if they
start to ask you questions!
2. They never initiate conversation.
A person who is interested in you wants to talk to
you.
They will call you to see how you are or send you a simple
text to let you know you’re on their mind.
You think they’re so
busy that they can’t spare a minute?
Someone who likes you will make time for you.
3. They constantly mention their ex.
Someone who is looking for a future should not be stuck in
the past.
They may be looking for a distraction or even a rebound. Either way, stay away!
Talking about your ex
is normal? You aren’t their therapist
and you don’t care about their past problems!
4. They constantly bash their ex.
As if mentioning their ex isn’t bad enough, you don’t want
someone so burned that they’re trash talking.
It’s an obvious red flag that they are not over the
situation and that they have no respect for others.
You’re happy that they
hate their ex THAT much? Think again
because they could be trashing you next.
5. They don’t respect their family.
How a person treats the people closest to them is a direct
reflection on how they will treat you.
I understand that unknown circumstances may or may not
exist, but there should always be respect.
You aren’t their
family so it doesn’t matter? Just wait
until you find yourself being treated the same way!
6. They are always talking about money.
While financial stability is very important, you don’t want
a man that hides behind his cash.
People typically talk excessively about something they’re
overly proud of or insecure about. Both stink.
You like the money topic? It’ll be great until they’re throwing it in
your face or too cheap to spend it!
7. They are always referencing sex.
Everybody likes to feel attractive, but there is a fine line
between wanting you and using you.
You’re so much more than a sex object. You have ideas, hobbies, and a BRAIN!
You like the dirty
talk? Test them and see if they are
capable of a regular conversation.
8. They are always on their phone.
While on a date, you
deserve that person’s full attention.
Either they have someone else they’d rather talk to, or
they’re just inconsiderate.
It’s no big deal? Well, yea it kind of is a HUGE deal that
they’re dating an inanimate object.
9. They are really private.
Everyone deserves a certain amount of privacy, but if their
life is a giant black hole then run!
People who have secrets usually have something to hide, and
that secret may be a wife.
That’s just who they
are? Yea, find someone whose life is
open enough for you to learn!
10. They ditch you on the regular.
This one KILLS me. If
someone sets up a date and time to meet you, then they should show up.
If they got sick or got called into work, they will let you
know, apologize, and reschedule!
They just happened to
fall asleep? Yea, um, NO!
I wouldn't agree that everybody should respect their families... there are people who were extremely unfortunate with their families.... I one doesn't have a good relationship with one's mother or father it doesn't mean one is incapable of loving others the way one hasn't been loved by one's own parents
ReplyDeleteHmmm I agree with this (but with the rest of the article in general). Another red flag? Too much time playing video games. Don't ask.
DeleteAgreed, 90% of my relatives aren't good enough to kiss my arse
DeleteThat all may be true, but I bet you still respect them unless you are forced to disrespect them out of self defense. I REALLY dislike people, but I am civil enough to respect them.
DeleteI said it before and I will say it again. You need to write a dating manual. Dating for Dummies perhaps?
ReplyDeleteLol If there was a market for it, I totally would!!!
DeleteWell you disappointed me, these are reasonable, where's the Seinfeld Syndrome? lol
ReplyDeleteThe Poor Pitiful Me - life is so bad, everything is out to get me, blah blah blah
The Jealous Nut - Did you see the way she looked at you. Did you just look at her like that. etc.
The Changer - I don't like that, we need to change you
Vegans/treehuggers/save the world nuts - I won't shower for a week, reuse my own feces and eat grass
The baby talker - all they talk about is babies, meaning they'll want you to unwrap it soon
The stalker - where do you live, your exact address, any roomates, got room for me
The druggie - Pot cures everything
Okay, I'm done
This is one of my favorite comments ever, Pat!!!!! I am LOVING this. Hahahahahaha The Seinfeld Syndromes are the worst. Lol
DeleteYou'd make a good Agony Aunt, Miss Jax. I think you should cut the private ones some slack, though. Maybe he has a wife who's in the loony bin, like Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre
ReplyDeleteA wife in the loony bin is still a wife!!!
DeleteI think a bad sign is if they are really short with you, Like if you call them on the phone and they seem like they are in a hurry to end the conversation. But I guess that is covered by "they don't initiate conversation."
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call it the same thing!!! Great eleventh tip, Jimmy. :)
DeleteMost employers for large businesses take the potential employees out for lunch to see how they treat the staff. How somebody treats a retail person or a restaurant employee is usually how they treat everyone. I usually suggest going to eat with friends because of it.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing to look for is body language. Crossing their arms and not making eye contact means they're not very welcoming and they're sort of closed off, also that they're not really interested. Looking up and to the left is a lie, looking down and to the right is remembering!
Don't tell someone with anxiety how to read body language because it will drive us buts!! Hahahaha love your tips!
DeleteAll of these are terrible and make me so happy that I'm married!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston
ReplyDeleteLol that's because we are only focusing on the negatives. There are some pros to being single. I think. .. lol
DeleteI hated number 3. That's the last thing someone wants to hear.
ReplyDeleteOmg, yes!! Talk about an unforgivable offense.
DeleteOn bashing their ex: Chances are just as high that the person doin the bashing was to blame for the breakup.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with you!
DeleteOMYGOSH...I think I knew all these guys "back in the day"...LOL
ReplyDeleteLol BJ!!! Aren't you glad that's in the past????
DeleteJust happened to fall asleep.....ugh...that's really lame!
ReplyDeleteYes- the ex-mentioning & the over-eager sex talk is suchhhha red flag.
ReplyDeleteNumber 8 is completely manners. Couldn't agree more!
The phone one is SO big... I can't stand people who are on their phones, especially during a meal
ReplyDelete