Friday, March 13, 2015

List: Red flags to be aware of while dating.

As a follow up to Friday's post, I'd like to discuss popular red flags daters should look out for.
These lunch break conversations are proof that I wasn’t the only one to witness these warnings.
They are also proof that I wasn’t alone when I made an excuses and ignored these signs of danger.

My co-workers and I find comfort comparing notes and seeing the similarities.
Together we were able to make a mental list of everything they should be aware of in the dating world.
The men even joined in on the conversation, making it a real good learning experience.
Luckily for all of you, I transcribed our mental notes.  Don’t ever say Jax didn’t warn you!

Common red flags to be aware of while dating.

1.  They only talk about them self.
A date is supposed to be time spent to get know each other, not just one of you.
Sure you could say he/she’s just nervous, but chances are they’re just selfish.
Don’t want to heed my warning?  Go on date #2 and see if they start to ask you questions!

2.  They never initiate conversation.
A person who is interested in you wants to talk to you.
They will call you to see how you are or send you a simple text to let you know you’re on their mind.
You think they’re so busy that they can’t spare a minute?  Someone who likes you will make time for you.

3.  They constantly mention their ex.
Someone who is looking for a future should not be stuck in the past.
They may be looking for a distraction or even a rebound.  Either way, stay away!
Talking about your ex is normal?  You aren’t their therapist and you don’t care about their past problems!

4.  They constantly bash their ex.
As if mentioning their ex isn’t bad enough, you don’t want someone so burned that they’re trash talking.
It’s an obvious red flag that they are not over the situation and that they have no respect for others.
You’re happy that they hate their ex THAT much?  Think again because they could be trashing you next.

5.  They don’t respect their family.
How a person treats the people closest to them is a direct reflection on how they will treat you.
I understand that unknown circumstances may or may not exist, but there should always be respect.
You aren’t their family so it doesn’t matter?  Just wait until you find yourself being treated the same way!

6.  They are always talking about money.
While financial stability is very important, you don’t want a man that hides behind his cash.
People typically talk excessively about something they’re overly proud of or insecure about.  Both stink.
You like the money topic?  It’ll be great until they’re throwing it in your face or too cheap to spend it!

7.  They are always referencing sex.
Everybody likes to feel attractive, but there is a fine line between wanting you and using you.
You’re so much more than a sex object.  You have ideas, hobbies, and a BRAIN!
You like the dirty talk?  Test them and see if they are capable of a regular conversation.

8.  They are always on their phone.
While on a date,  you deserve that person’s full attention.
Either they have someone else they’d rather talk to, or they’re just inconsiderate.
It’s no big deal?  Well, yea it kind of is a HUGE deal that they’re dating an inanimate object.

9.  They are really private.
Everyone deserves a certain amount of privacy, but if their life is a giant black hole then run!
People who have secrets usually have something to hide, and that secret may be a wife.
That’s just who they are?  Yea, find someone whose life is open enough for you to learn!

10.  They ditch you on the regular.
This one KILLS me.  If someone sets up a date and time to meet you, then they should show up.
If they got sick or got called into work, they will let you know, apologize, and reschedule!
They just happened to fall asleep?  Yea, um, NO!

What dating red flags have you encountered?  


  1. I wouldn't agree that everybody should respect their families... there are people who were extremely unfortunate with their families.... I one doesn't have a good relationship with one's mother or father it doesn't mean one is incapable of loving others the way one hasn't been loved by one's own parents

    1. Hmmm I agree with this (but with the rest of the article in general). Another red flag? Too much time playing video games. Don't ask.

    2. Agreed, 90% of my relatives aren't good enough to kiss my arse

    3. That all may be true, but I bet you still respect them unless you are forced to disrespect them out of self defense. I REALLY dislike people, but I am civil enough to respect them.

  2. I said it before and I will say it again. You need to write a dating manual. Dating for Dummies perhaps?

    1. Lol If there was a market for it, I totally would!!!

  3. Well you disappointed me, these are reasonable, where's the Seinfeld Syndrome? lol

    The Poor Pitiful Me - life is so bad, everything is out to get me, blah blah blah
    The Jealous Nut - Did you see the way she looked at you. Did you just look at her like that. etc.
    The Changer - I don't like that, we need to change you
    Vegans/treehuggers/save the world nuts - I won't shower for a week, reuse my own feces and eat grass
    The baby talker - all they talk about is babies, meaning they'll want you to unwrap it soon
    The stalker - where do you live, your exact address, any roomates, got room for me
    The druggie - Pot cures everything

    Okay, I'm done

    1. This is one of my favorite comments ever, Pat!!!!! I am LOVING this. Hahahahahaha The Seinfeld Syndromes are the worst. Lol

  4. You'd make a good Agony Aunt, Miss Jax. I think you should cut the private ones some slack, though. Maybe he has a wife who's in the loony bin, like Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre

    1. A wife in the loony bin is still a wife!!!

  5. I think a bad sign is if they are really short with you, Like if you call them on the phone and they seem like they are in a hurry to end the conversation. But I guess that is covered by "they don't initiate conversation."

    1. I wouldn't call it the same thing!!! Great eleventh tip, Jimmy. :)

  6. Most employers for large businesses take the potential employees out for lunch to see how they treat the staff. How somebody treats a retail person or a restaurant employee is usually how they treat everyone. I usually suggest going to eat with friends because of it.

    Another thing to look for is body language. Crossing their arms and not making eye contact means they're not very welcoming and they're sort of closed off, also that they're not really interested. Looking up and to the left is a lie, looking down and to the right is remembering!

    1. Don't tell someone with anxiety how to read body language because it will drive us buts!! Hahahaha love your tips!

  7. All of these are terrible and make me so happy that I'm married!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

    1. Lol that's because we are only focusing on the negatives. There are some pros to being single. I think. .. lol

  8. I hated number 3. That's the last thing someone wants to hear.

    1. Omg, yes!! Talk about an unforgivable offense.

  9. On bashing their ex: Chances are just as high that the person doin the bashing was to blame for the breakup.

  10. OMYGOSH...I think I knew all these guys "back in the day"...LOL

    1. Lol BJ!!! Aren't you glad that's in the past????

  11. Just happened to fall asleep.....ugh...that's really lame!

  12. Yes- the ex-mentioning & the over-eager sex talk is suchhhha red flag.

    Number 8 is completely manners. Couldn't agree more!

  13. The phone one is SO big... I can't stand people who are on their phones, especially during a meal

  14. Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books. Sure, I understand. You are young you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a Vampire is not what it seems like. It’s a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It’s not what you are that counts, But how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity, I can help you solve any problem you are having
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) If you want to stop having bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) If you want to stop your divorce.
    (10 If you want to divorce your husband.
    (11) If you want your wishes to be granted.


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