For as long as I
could remember, I wished that my torso was stretched out and my legs were
longer.
Unfortunately, I currently
stand at the very low height of 5 foot and half an inch tall.
I mean, for the love of God, 4” inch heels only make me average
height!!
I never thought that
my opinion would change, until last week.
When walking in a
store with MushyFace, I hold her hand firmly and lead her where we need to go.
When MyMan walks with
Mushyface, his 6’4 body has to hunch down to a very uncomfortable position.
By the time he walks
down one aisle, he’s already complaining about the back pain.
Insert evil snicker here.
That’s when I
realized that being short isn’t all that bad.
Well, at least until
I remembered all of these awful things…
1.
Can
you get that down for me?
Oh, how I despise saying those words to all of you who tower over me.
2.
Where
did Jax go?
I’m here!!
Here lost in the mob of people that are forcing me to walk in the wrong
direction!!
3.
Can
you hem that pair of pants 2 feet and the sleeves of that shirt 6 inches?
Tailors should pay me with all the fabric I involuntarily
donate.
4.
Remember,
little things come in small packages.
Say it to me one more time, and the next
time you’re down here, I will smack you in the face.
5.
You
hit the curb again?
You drive in my world of invisible curbs
that you can’t see and tell me how many YOU hit!!
6.
Heyy
shorty, how YOU doin?!
Um, forget you and you’re prejudice lingo. I
do take offense to that, jerk.
7.
Can
you help me down?
I’m stuck on the countertop because I couldn’t
find my step stool and I needed the bread crumbs.
8.
But
the pool is only 5’ deep!
I’m only 5’ deep. My swimming stamina
is zero, and If I stand, I’ll drown!
9.
You’re
so small that I swear I can just pick you up, see.
Put.
Me. Down. Right. Now.
10.
Wow, you’re short.
Really?
Do you
have tall/short people problems?
Morning!
ReplyDeleteThat started me off with a good chuckle Jax ♥️
I stand at 5"4"....rounded off from a peasley 5"4"!!! that extra 1" makes all the difference...
Your examples are hilarious!
My kids say I am getting shorter! Thanks guys! Just you wait!!!
Enjoy your day shorty....oooops...sorry....er...umm...hahaha! :o)
Cheers!
Linda :o)
Glad I can make you chuckle. :)
DeleteLOL If we really do shrink as get older, I'm screwed. I can't get much lower! haha
lmao bah it's okay to get the short end of the stick. You can just literally come up short sometimes. You can keep everyone on a short leash. Short and sweet isn't neat? Feel like you got short changed? No good a short stop? Hope you aren't a day late and a dollar short. Never get caught short or sell yourself short. I guess life is always short. To make a long story short. I think you got the long and short of it.
ReplyDeleteEep!!! That's some comment. Real nice, cat!!!! We are totally, 100% FIGHTING. You might be average height for a cat, but I'm still bigger than YOU. :( :( :( :(
Deletelol the cat just has to send some hair your way and you'll sneeze and lose any fight. The cat still wins! Sorry you came up short again lmao
DeleteThe cat will never win! He can't use my allergy against me. :( :( That would be cheating. I was talking about a fair fight!!
DeleteI am slightly below average height and any area I am only "slightly below" average I count it as a moral victory. Though I see what you are saying about people's snide comments... like they are the first person clever enough to notice you are 5 foot and thought of making a joke about it... it's not funny.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not! I mean, thanks for noticing me down here, but you didn't have to remind me. :P
Deletein good news, men usually find lil' women sexy :)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind being a bit taller, but I don't care much, I love people of all shapes and sizes :)
This is surprisingly true. Most of the men I've dated were over 6 feet tall. My fiancee now is 6'4. So, there is another positive. :) haha
DeleteI'm right at that height where I can't be called short, but I need one more inch go reach things on heigh shelves. My old work used to think I was the laziest person there because I couldn't reach the to go boxes and always needed help.
ReplyDeleteLOL We aren't lazy...we're short! haha Well.. you're almost short. :P
DeleteI assume you're probably Daisy's height, I always thought you were taller. She hates being short, but at least you're a woman. Short men not only have all those problems, they are picked on and have a lot harder time getting dates.
ReplyDeleteI'm thankfully 5'11" but it wasn't until 9th grade when I started to get my height.
Really? You just made me smile!! I may be little, but give off the impression of a 6 footer, huh? :)
DeleteYou're right about the woman thing. It's a lot rougher for men to be short than a woman.
I don't have short people problems. I'm just average. I do, however, have problems with lists. My very first blog post was a list and it didn't take me long to realize how corny it was. Ever since then every time I see a list I go into this blind rage and attack its author. Even when my wife gives me a grocery list I turn red and start screaming.
ReplyDeleteWorkingDan, how can you hate the neatness of a list?? I mean, if you ever need to refer to something in the future, you can just say "Look at #6" without have to read the whole blasted thing. No? Ok...
DeleteYou would HATE being married to me then. I make an excel spreadsheet that predicts the amount it will be at check out. Then I make it a game to see how close I was. lol!!!!! Every. Single. Week.
It's 'good things come in small packages', right? lol.... you're so cute. For a woman, I think shorter is better than too tall....
ReplyDeletefun post....making me laugh! Now get off the counter! ha.
Lol at least you got a good laugh :)
DeleteAw dear you are really funny!
ReplyDeleteAnd make laugh!
BTW yesterday I made a comment but is not here!
Blogger keeps eating comments!! I cant comment on a few peoples either. At least it worked now..
DeleteAwesome List and,Great post! MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT
ReplyDeleteI post daily aswell come check out my blog!
My blog: MakeItUpOrFunny!
.
Will do! Thanks for stopping by.
Deletemy employers are tall and i cannot reach anythingggg. stools all day.
ReplyDeletelol! Story of my life. :)
DeleteAs another short person, I can relate! One of the things I hate the most is sitting in a chair and having me feet swing like a five year old, instead of touching the ground. And the pants thing! So annoying trying to buy a new pair.
ReplyDeleteshijun 6.22
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