There seems to be one
recurring theme to my life.
I date a guy. We break up and disappear from each other’s
lives. Then one day, they show up again.
Hey! Stop playing the damn violin! I totally wasn’t complaining…
As flattered as I am
that they want to rekindle the spark, what are they expecting?
The relationship crashed
and burned for a reason.
…and I
know he ain’t trying to just be friends!
As tempting as it is to
dip your feet back into their love spell, it’s a horrible decision.
Stop and think about
where the relationship went wrong.
You may be able to
forget the problems for a short time, but they will eventually creep back into
view.
Sure his
green eyes are hypnotizing, but he’s still a conceited, stuck up, know it
all!!!
This post is in honor of the all people being haunted by their exes.
Kick them to the curb
like a bad habit and move on to bigger and better things!
What? Still not convinced? Sigh…
Here are
10 reasons NOT to go back to an old relationship!
Of course there
are exceptions, but you guys are smart and know that already.
1. Back Up
Where was
your ex this whole time? Don’t give me that excuse!!
It’s always suspicious
when exes pop up out of nowhere. Chances
are they tried to start a few new romances and failed. For lack of a better option is not why I would
want to relight a fire.
2. Cute Cousin
If you’re looking at
them and wondering how their hot cousin is doing, chances are you shouldn’t
give this relationship a second chance.
That doesn’t
mean you should go calling the cousin neither!
Just sayin…
The ex that comes and
goes in spurts is usually playing the same game. You are being used as entertainment between
girls.
Be smarter
and say no!!!! Don’t let nobody play you
for a fool!
4. Pancakes
Let someone else make
them pancakes at ungodly hours of the morning before work!
5. Family
Your family watched your
relationship crumble and helped you pick up the pieces. During that process, they are bound to lose
respect for your ex. No matter how open
minded they are, they want to protect you from more hurt.
I learned
a long time ago to value my family’s opinions.
They know me better than anyone else.
6. Lies
Rekindling a
relationship leads to many lies and exaggerations.
Like they
are really going to tell you about the chick they’ve been banging the past 4
months. Uh huh…
7. Same Person
While they may have
changed different aspects of their lives, they are still the same person.
I HATE
when girls sit back thinking they are going to “save” or “change” a man. Let him be…
If you need to change
someone to be with them, then you should move on to someone else who fits the
criteria.
8. Waste
The energy and time you
devote to trying something that already failed once could be applied a new
relationship. Think of all the
opportunities you’re turning down while trying to crazy glue an old fling.
Peaches is
famous for this one. “I just don’t have
the time.” Love that!
9. Cooking
Now you can cook that
tomato sauce how you like it. Throw in
all the onions you wants!
The second you found out he doesn't like a sweeter gravy you should’ve known it wouldn’t work…
10. Adventure
There is a fun, exciting
adventure waiting for you with someone new.
Do you
think rekindling an old romance is a good or bad idea?
Agreed on everything. Very very very bad idea. You see them again do the fast walk and go the other way. There is always a reason it didn't work and life is too short to waste the time. That is the top reason for me, "waste" why bother when there are plenty more out there? Just because people like the ease and convienence it provides is not a good reason, it will always end the same way. Just dumb, yet very few heed the rules and try again and again and again. Can't say I've ever had to deal with number 4 though...LOL...will end rant before it gets too long..haha
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you agree! It's a terrible idea.
DeleteYou sound like Peaches. "I don't have time." That's her famous line and I love it! It's true. People don't have time to waste. Not to mention all the stress it's going to cause you.
Have you ever had a pancake?
Ohh, and I love when the rant button gets pushed. hahahahaha
I think it's a bad idea and like Pat said I've seen way too many girlfriends do it and get sick of listening to them whine about the same problems they had years ago with the ex. I've never gone back. When it's over, I slam the door, bolt it and there's no going back.
ReplyDeleteHorrible, bad, awful idea!!! This post is actually getting sent to one of my girlfriends at the end of the day. Her finace broke off their engagement, and yet still she took him back...for the THIRD time. They cheated once and they will cheat again! They lied once and they will lie again!
DeleteI've gone back, but that's how I learned what a dumb idea it was. I'd never do it again.
Three times is just masochistic. You're right once a cheater always a cheater. Why would she want to go back to that again. She needs to explore the reasons for her doing it. If she doesn't figure herself out, she'll get nowhere.
DeleteI had to look up that word!! Always teaching me new words ;)
DeleteOh, that's a whole other long story in itself. It's not my story to tell, but trust me, my g/f needs to wake up and realize how amazing she really is!!! I love her so much and it sucks that she doesn't listen to me. Is it bad if I shake her really hard???? Sigh...
Cooking is my favorite! I know that sounds crazy but I'm looking forward to that one. If I want to add some salt I will. Or, better yet, not cook at all, I won't! =)
ReplyDeleteRight??? Isn't it the best when you can things the way that YOU want to cook!! Go ahead, throw extra mushrooms in your sauce b/c they are your favorite vegetable. It's ok!!!
DeleteNot cook at all? I get that too. Besides, a pb&j sandwhich has protein. Right?? RIGHT?! hahahaha
it's hard to turn back and restart a new relationship with the same person, you'll just keep worrying the past and think the previous mistake. personally, i don't think it will work but as you know its hard to follow your heart hehehehe
ReplyDeleteIt really is. No matter what happens all you are going to remember is all the hurt. Not to mention, everything that you hated about that person the first time around is still going to be there. (At the end of the day I'm sending this to my friend. I love her, but she doesn't get some things!!)
DeleteOnce I'm done, I'm done. For me, they had their chance and once they blow it, there is no coming back.
ReplyDeleteAgreed!!! I don't see why they come back. We broke up for a reason!!
DeleteHilarious post, but oh so true! I think rekindling is bad, but so many people do it!
ReplyDeleteRekindling is very bad!! Glad I was able to make you laugh :)
DeleteI'm still waiting for your relationship book. You NEED to write one girl!!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, one day!! It's on my bucket list. ;)
DeleteNumber 10 is one of the best reasons to keep looking forward!
ReplyDelete#10 is a great reason!! Unfortunately, it's also the reason why so many men refuse to settle down. They'd miss their adventures and escapades. lol
DeleteStupid blogger is really screwing with me today, not showing up on bloglists and now it won't let me reply, sigh. Those aliens are mad I found their weakness..lol
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is pretty much one of the worst dating ideas ever. And that line by Peaches is the best, so very true. If I'm going to waste my time it will be on me, not some nutcase that was already sent packing..LMAO...yeah the stress is a big one too. So not worth it.
Hmmm I think I had a pancake some 20 years ago..haha
Yes you can always make me rant is seems.
The reply button is working just fine for cat. It's just happening to you. The Alliance strikes a blow for justice!
DeleteOh that alliance really is plotting revenge on you!!! That's what you get for wishing fleas to knees and making fun of mimes!!! Hmph...
DeleteNot nice! Minions aren't supposed to let such alliance happenings occur. You have failed at your job. But then the reply seems to work now, I guess I'll let you off the hook.
DeleteI could've written this myself. Rich and I are friends but Sunday night he showed up 40 minutes late to dinner, then had to leave to help on an independent film. He was literally there 20 minutes. I looked at my other friends and said, "Well, at least he's proving to me I made the right decision in leaving him."
ReplyDeleteI should've known it was bad when he'd never seen a John Hughes film. :)
My saying for relationships, including friendships is that old stand by, "Never make someone a priority, when they only make you an option."
Seriously? He showed for 20 min? There was no point in him even showing up if that's how long he was going to grace you with his presense. You did the right thing girl and let it go. It's a great reminder of why you left him ;)
DeleteThat could be a great blog post "I should have known when..." lol
Oh, that's Peache's other favorite quote. It's so true!!!
In the past I've been guilty of going back to old relationships and it is NEVER a good idea. Exes are exes for a reason and it should stay that way.
ReplyDeleteI was guilty once too and I would never ever do it again. Horrible idea!!
DeleteSuch great tips, I have definitely gone through this before with exes and minus 1 who I've been able to maintain a healthy friendship with, it is bad for all of the reasons above. I think the main thing is that you are friends with this person presumably while you date, so it's easy to want to rekindle/hang out with an old buddy again... the problem is that getting close again usually leads to intimacy again which then changes the discourse back to the old relationship... and you tend to find out that they havent' really changed. With that said, I know few people who successfully break up the first go around, most need to do it twice, hah. SO yes, I agree with #7 wholly!
ReplyDeleteThanks Caitlin!!! That's awesome that you were able to maintain a healthy friendship!! I've always found that somewhat impossible. For me, #7 is the biggest deal breaker. There was obviously SOMETHING about you that I didn't like before in order for me to end a relationship. It's still going to be there if I came back, except this time you could hide it for a little while.
DeleteI actually had a trailer and a personal rant on the topic of the exes coming back in one of last week's posts :)
ReplyDeleteIt's such a sensitive issue. But usually I don't put comas, but full stops, and when I put them it's forever. Off course that doesn't mean the heart doesn't suffer. I believe that realization of love can sometimes come too late.
A personal rant? Oh I love rants!!!! :)
DeleteIt is a sensitive issue and there always are exceptions, but as a general rule, I would have to say no. The realization of love? Dez, you're so deep!! I don't touch the L word with a 10 foot pole on this blog. That's a whole knew game level. LOL
we have a song here in Serbia called WHEN LOVE COMES TOO LATE and the chorus goes something like this, in rough translation without rhymes:
DeleteIf I had a chance for one more call
I know whom I'd call, I'd call you, I'd call you
To tell you you were my everything
I didn't know it then, but I do now
When true love comes too late
others will never arrive
I'd give you my heart now
so that you could have two of them,
But I wouldn't give you these two eyes of mine,
lest we become the same.
Because then, you wouldn't see it either
when true love comes too late
Oh, I love that!!! Thanks so much for sharing :) What is the name of the song? I'd love to listen to it, even if it's not in English.
DeleteA translation without rhymes? How could you Dez? that is just evil!
Deletehere it is Jaxy:
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znvqF7DDrzM
It is interesting that the singer is actually really a blind man :(
@Pat
ah, eat my shorts :)
It's been too long for me to remember being free...:)
ReplyDeleteLOL That's a good thing Barfly!
DeleteI think 99% of the time rekindling an old relationship is a horrible idea. I think you list 10 very good reasons to avoid it at all costs.
ReplyDelete99.999999999% of the time. LOL Thank you :)
DeleteUnless two people break up because of work/school priorities getting back will be a trainwreck
ReplyDeleteAgreed!!! Even breaking up b/c of other priorities is a meh reason. I get seeing it each other less, but completely breaking off a commitment? Idk..
DeleteI totally agree! And lets not forget the guy could just be wanting sex and thinking that his ex is an easy target. That is why most guys go back to their ex!
ReplyDeleteOh, please!! That is ALL that they want of the time. Men!
DeleteThis post is straight up WISDOM... there are far too many people in this world for anyone to focus on people that have failed them before. Moving on is the only solution.
ReplyDeleteStraight up wisdom?? Ohhh, I love that!!!! Agreed! Moving on is the best solution.
DeleteI dont know Jax but your reasons are Ok I think, really hope you find a nice and great guy:))
ReplyDeleteAww, thank you Gloria!!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYep, there are too many reasons not to go back to exes! #1 on my list is...they're an ex!
ReplyDeleteLove the way you put it!! So true. Keeps your ex an ex ;)
Deleteyou make pancakes at ungodly hours for your man??
ReplyDeletecousin' calling:) haha
backup n entertainment is it, in my experience as well.
they are tests and we pass by not playing.
Yes I do!!! Ok, so I like pancakes too, but still!!! LOL
DeleteI agree with Just Keepin It Real! You really should write a book! Great, great advise! Life is too short to waste it going backwards!
ReplyDeleteWrite a book? Maybe one day!! I would love to do that!
Deletei'm trying to think if ive ever gone back down that road again...hmm?? maybe i SHOULD.
ReplyDeleteLOL Don't do it. Don't do it!!!!!
DeletePretty good tips. Breaking up is hard, patching it up is like trying to fix broken glass, not going to last.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Fixing broken glass is a PERFECT analogy :)
DeleteI used to be very guilty of getting back together with ex-girlfriends, but then I realized that #7 is always true. Always. And if they changed, it is usually in a bad way.
ReplyDeleteThere was one particular girl who I was the one crawling back, however. She was horrible, yet I like her so much and convinced myself that she was different/would be different eventually/would see that we were perfect/yadayada. Obviously, it crashed and burned over and over again, and I think that I finally learned my lesson.
I was guilty of it too once. Then I learned my lesson.
DeleteVery interesting to hear from the other perspective. Well, you proved Bersercules wrong that you were just looking for that one thing.
I'm glad you learned your lesson! Now you're gonna meet a smoking hot lady and get your ex all jealous. Then she'll come running back to you. Watch!! lol
I'm actually with an ex right now... But I think it's a thing where I have a unique situation. (Don't girls always say that though?) Here's the thing. We dated our freshman year of college for 3 months and barely got to know each other. Then we kinda reconnected and now we've been together for a year and a half. It's like I never really knew him at all. We both changed a lot.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, can't wait to see you answer the tag!
A year and a half? Wow, I guess you are the exception. 3 months really is more like dating so hopefully it's what you said, you two just didn't have the time to get to know each. Best of luck with your boy! I hope everything works out :)
DeleteEveryone situation is different, but I'm inclined to agree that if a relationship doesn't work initially then its unlikely round 2 will go any better.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are always exceptions as a few readers pointed out. I love when people become exceptions to the rule. Reminds me of He's Just Not That Into You ;) hahaha
Deletehey, jax.... this is very well written. witty and informative. i enjoyed it. great dating tips, and i'd definitely share with my little alex these tips when she's old enough. :)
ReplyDeleteyou have a great day! :)
xoxo
jasmine
AdamAlexMommy
Aww, thank you so much!! You do the same!
DeleteJaxinator! i take off my hat for this one! (i hope this expression exists in english lol). this was a great post filled with TRUTH that i´m sure a lot of people needed to read. you should re-post this once a year as a reminder... haha kind of like a checklist of good and bad things for life and include this "EX" list on the bad one! i think that getting back with an ex is only successful for few people... maybe they were meant for eachother but the circumstances of their relationship didn´t help. but otherwise i´d say that the great majority of the relationships end for a reason... and like you said, it´s important to remember why you broke up in the first place. lol.
ReplyDeletewonderful post! laughed a lot but also got down deep. :)
XO Jannine
http://fashionistArg.blogspot.com
I used to fool myself with number 7, thinking that distance and time may have changed him. Oh no it didn't! I'm much wiser now and happy to be on my own without exes in my life. Don't need the stress.
ReplyDeleteI broke up with an ex 6 years ago and he still can't resist a leg-over with a good looking woman! You're right, some aspects of their lives may have changed but they were still the same person, doing the same old things. It's best to let the past rest (where it belongs) and venture to new, green pastures. :-)
The time wasting thing seems to be one of the most enfuriating things to me. And also very cruel. I am sure that people who use you for entertainment purposes will be hit with some very bad karma eventually...if there is any justice in the universe.
ReplyDelete