Thursday, March 22, 2012

What did you just say?!

The other day I'm walking with Sis through the back of a restaurant.
I stop because there was a sudden breeze hitting my face.
I turn to the right, and there was a rather large man staring me down.
His face was round and his mouth was in a familiar circular shape.
For the love of God, he was blowing on me.
Talk about hygiene dude?!?!?!
That's when Sis spoke up before I could.
She looked him dead in the eye and demanded an explanation.
He was blowing on me because I was steaming hot.
Gag me with a spoon...

This got me thinking about all the creepy, awkward, weird things that people think is ok to say!

1.  PiggyBack
So you're walking into your office building, when an older man behind you exclaims "I'm going to piggy back you."  You turn around real quick, and say "Excuse me?"  He replies saying, "That's a military term for opening the door."  
Ummm, anyone?  Has anyone heard of that 'code' before??

2.  Tickle
It's catches you off guard when your coworker sees a picture of your cousin and you with Elmo.  Without any explanation he looks at you and says, "Did you tickle him?"
You could have at least said Elmo at the end of that?!

3.  MILF
"Your mom is hot!!"
No!  Just, no!!

4.  Fascinating Tongue
It's real awkward when your manager gushes about the way your tongue moves as you speak.  It gets even more awkward when he points out the way you lick your lips!
I always lick my lips so they don't get dry!  It's not because of you...

5.  Thumb Wrestling
It's weird when the toothless man at the bar turns to challenge you to a thumb wrestle.
It's even weirder when you say yes...

6.  Drink
It's real strange when you're out at work event and your boss helps himself to a sip of your drink...from your straw!
This one didn't actually happen to me.  This one was all Peaches!  Poor girl...

7.  Crabs
What is someone thinking when they put a fake crab tattoo on their stomach before they hit the bar?  What I really want to know is, what were they thinking when they used it as a pick up line?!  "Hey pretty lady, I got crabs on my stomach!"
Bleh, gag, barf!

8.  Barking
It's extremely weird when ou're walking to the restroom when a group of maintenance men start barking.
Are you insinuating that I'm a dog, or are you insinuating that you are?

9.  St.PaddysDay
You're wearing a blue shirt under a gray sweater when a coworker compliments your blouse. Then he tells you how perfect your blue shirt would be for St. Patrick's day.  You remind him that it's blue when he says "let me see".  As you open up your sweater to flash your blouse you realize how dumb you just got played...

10.  Bite
It super awkward when your out with your girls and one of their friends takes the liberty of biting your shoulder.  "Did you just bite me?"  "Yea I did!"
Do you think I need a rabies shot?!

What awkward passes do people make at you?


  1. LMAO oh you weren't kidding about NY men hahahahaha, I don't think anything can top those.

    Piggyback, can't say I ever heard that military term..hahaha...must be one of those don't ask don't tell terms.

    Sounds like you have quite the bit of ummm weirdos in your office too..hahaha...that is just nasty, some guy taking a drink from your straw, ummm ewww. Poor Peaches.

    The crabs guy and the barking are just whackos and the biting is just plain pathetic I guess they just wanted to prove they really were a dog...hahaha

    LOL oh you so got played soo very bad..hahahaha

  2. Ok, being able to relate to "old dudes" that flirt with fine young ladies. Ewww.... you work with some weirdos..... except for the one that tricked you with the shirt color you were wearing....that's brilliant. I'm writing that one in my phone.

  3. I feel dirty.
    The blowing on you one is the absolute worst! BLEGH!

  4. I had a girl grab my ass at a concert before. But I liked it.

    I guess it is different for guys...

  5. @Pat...I told you about those NY men, and you didn't believe me!!!

    So you really think that piggy back code was legit? LOL I'm on the fence about it...hahahaha

    Her bald, OLD, nasty boss just reached over and grabbed her drink. After taking a sip and fiercly making out with her straw, he set it back down. She gave the old man a nasty look and left that drink for the waiters... hahaha

    Sigh...That's what TheTabNazi and the Philipino said... & that I'm too gullible. See how the body guards pay off? He played me good! Soooo sneaky...hahahaha

  6. @Barfly...You would think that's brilliant!!! hahahaha It's so sneaky that it works...

  7. @Sara...I STILL feel dirty from that. Who blows on somoeone!!?? I should've blown his germs right back into his face. Bleh!!

  8. @Youngman...If she bit you, would you like it? LMAO

  9. Just once wouldn't be nice if a really hot man asked you to thumb wrestle? Oooh and if any of my bosses had asked to drink from my straw, I'd have gagged. But yeah, you got punk'd on the sweater deal Jax!

  10. Oh I believed you, this just re-enforced it that much more...haha

    No, I really don't think it was legit. I think he was a loon, but I guess you never know what some of them use though when they aren't twirling their fingers about and giving hand signals..haha

    Bleh gag barf indeed. If he was near she should have pretended to be clutsy and whacked it with her elbow then let the drink spill all over him, that teach chrome dome a lesson..hahaha

    LOL yes I see why you need body guards, but then he was very sneaky.

  11. ahah, I kept waiting and waiting to read one that I had experience but it is safe to say that I hadn't experienced any of them!!! And yours (and peaches!) office sounds much different than mine... haha, HR reigns supreme at my place of biznat.

    I hate when people are like- take off your glasses, let me see you... it's weird.

    and that blowing on you is disgusting!

  12. Your boss talks about your tongue and drinks from your drinks? No, just no.

    I have to say I'm down with the thumb wrestling one though. I would've destroyed that guy at thumb wrestling and yelled, "Your dignity went the way of your teeth! Face!" or something equally as childish.

  13. Those are crazy! Seriously. Especially the part of the boss sharing drinks.

  14. I have a lot of old guys flirt with me at the restaurant. Some of it is harmless but sometimes... ugh. So sick.

  15. @Anne...I don't know any hot men that thumb wrestle. I may need to send out a craigslits ad to find that one! hahahaha Yea, I thought I got fooled.

  16. @Pat...LOL You think he was a loon? Idk, I ready to run. There was zero chance that he was hopping on my back for a ride through that door. hahahaha What a weird code word if it is true!

    LMAO I think she should have too! To make it worst, he watched her for the next 20 minutes. When she didn't go back to her drink he said "Is it b/c I drank out of it?" It's her direct boss so she had to lie and say that she just didn't like it. hahaha

  17. @Caitlin...Girl, be GLAD that you can't relate to any of these. They are SO awkward when you're in the middle of it.

    @Spork...OMG yessss!!! He's like, I love the way your tongue moves with your lips when you talk. It's MESMERIZING!! I almost peed when I heard that. My friend still makes fun of me after witnessing that one. You think these are bad? You should hear about my old job! My old boss used to play the game "what color panties are you wearing". I didn't last there long...

    and LOL @ your thumb wrestling gig. I kinda wish you were there to do that. hahahaha

  18. @Leslie...Yes, they are crazy...and some are just disturbing. haha

    @Krysten...May be weird, but it sounds like great blogging material. I would LOVE to hear those stories :)

  19. OMG! first: I love these reflextions (lol)
    second someones surprise me (lol)
    third I understand you Iremember a terrible experience times ago....
    Of course I had a boss that run by me , terrible, I cant work there any more:(
    you make me laugh!! (lol)

  20. That's it - I'm asking my husband when he gets home. I've never heard anyone use the military term piggy back for opening the door for you....creepy old dude!

    And the guy blowing on made me shudder - gross!

  21. You've read my blog. You know some of the dumb stuff people have said to me.. haha. As for the piggy back thing... we have been military now for 17 years and I've never heard anyone say that. :)

  22. ^^^ Well there you have it, no piggy back rides in the military. It's sad though, maybe if they gave more piggy back rides there'd be less war..hahaha

    And he is still her boss? Oh that is just creepy. Must be a pain dealing with the Staring Straw Slurper all day..hahahaha

  23. @Gloria...Isn't it awful when it's your manager? It's like they thing they are paying to be harassed. Sigh...My old job was real bad. That's why I quit.

    @L...You need to let me know what your hubby says! And OMG, EWWW to the blowing!!! Why would ANY man think it's ok to blow on me? :(

  24. @Melynda...It's those boots you rock girl! hahaha And really? So the piggy backer was just a creep? Figures!

    @Pat...It was very strange. All I know if I turned around so quick he didn't stand a chance. I guess my surprised Excuse Me let him know that I had never heard of his military term before. Creeps!!!

    LOL Yes, straw slurper is still her boss and he still creeps her out. He is a lonely old man that wants my Peaches. Good think we got body guards! hahaha Some of the people that work here are real wins, let me tell ya... :P

  25. @Youngman...Men don't like to be bitten. Noted. hahahaha

  26. I'd freak out if someone sipped one of my drinks. That's just nasty

  27. hahaha they sound like quite the catch there at your work place. It's a good thing Tab Nazi is there, so when he comes to stare he can yell Tab and make him look else where...hahaha

  28. Oh wow, those encounters. Makes me glad I'm not a woman.

  29. HAHAHA Jax!!! Oh gosh, one time a professor thought I was flirting with him and it was simply my contact that got dry and was about to pop out of my eye. He felt like crap! HaHaHa

  30. I've always wondered what kind of pick up lines I would get if I were born a girl.

  31. hahaha, this reminds me of a bad pickup line i recently witnessed:

    man: i'll treat you well. this ain't no hotel-motel.
    woman: (laughter)

    no, i didn't say it. honest!:)

  32. @Adam...So did Peaches...Just bleh!! Why?! hahaha

    @Vacuum...Yes, leave the MILFS alone if it's her own mother.

    @Pat...LMAO I'm going to tell him said that. He'll laugh at that one. He's body guard #1. This week it was a hawk. I swear that thing could lift me! How much does a large chicken weigh? hahahaha I'm walking in to work tomorrow with an umbrella.

    @Zyu...there are a lot of downfalls when it comes to being a woman. Trust me on that! hahaha But many perks ;)

    @Kim...OMG, that is hysterical!!! I hope you at least got an A in the class then. hahahaha

    @Novelpiece...well, now you know!

    @Sucen...Feeling the love from strangers can be nice...Maybe... lol

  33. @Ed...Ok, that's GREAT!! hahahahaha I should add it to my list :) Guys come up with the silliest pick up lines! At least it wasn't you. lol

  34. This is killing me Jax. I can't believe the nerve of most of those.

    The Mrs. was born in NYC, but we met when she was going to school in the South. One warm day she was parking her way cool camaro with the t-tops off, and she heard a loud siren roar and 4 guys in uniforms giving their best whistles and calls at her while hanging from a city fire truck. I told her, yes, welcome to the South ma'am.

    By the way, I saw an article advising Timmy Tebow to live as far away from the City as possible to avoid all the distractions. Perhaps, you can hook up with some suggestions for quiet neighbors on the Island--he may need a workout partner in the area as well.

  35. @Slamdunk...Some men are real nervy! At least you were there to warn your Mrs. :)

    and about Tebow...I'm SO upset that he's a Jet...I mean... A JET. Sigh... My post tomorrow is dedicated to this.

    This morning on the radio, stations were playing made up songs making fun of him. One station spoke of how Tebow's going to be appalled by the bluntness of NY women. They were making bets on how quick we'd corrupt him since we were "only at risk for getting a cold sore". I had to put on a CD. Awful!!

  36. I am writing all these great lines down..I will try them out and report back to the peanut gallery.

  37. OMG - I've TOTALLY BEEN BITTEN. I am so glad that I'm not the only what. How freaking creepy

  38. @Jimmy....Please, spare the female race from having to go through this again. Sigh... lol

    @Rooth....REALLY?!!??! Did you get a rabies shot after??? I think I feel sick...hahahaha

  39. In a conversation, an old man asked me if I like black eyed peas, I said yes! who wouldn't, that group is so famous! only to find out he's reffering to the veggies! what?!!! hahaha!


  40. wow that list was hard digest!
    seriously a man blowing at you? he needs to start working on his seduction techniques! that was just gross.
    poor peaches! that disgusting boss sipin´ down her drink... bastard! he did it because he knew she wouldn´t be able to say anything!
    hmmm can´t think of an awkward pass right now.

    XO jannine

  41. That's disgusting. Yuck!!

    I was on the bus one day coming back from college. A guy sat next to me. From the corner of my eyes I could see him staring. I looked at him to see if he wanted to say something to me. But he carried on just staring. For the whole 15 minute journey, he stared at me. He made me feel so uneasy. When it was time to get off the bus, I got off two stops before mine, just in case he deicided to follow me home. Luckily, he didn't. Talk about weirdo!!

    Have a good weekend. :-)

  42. The ones that involve the boss are the worst imo.


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