Thursday, March 15, 2012

Beware of The Hair

Today I want to bring up something that’s super important to almost everyone.
Today I want to talk about hair.
Don’t give me that look men!  I know you guys have to look in the mirror too!

Hair is the one defining factor that can determine how someone’s day goes.
A bad hair day is the equivalent to a giant coming along and smashing your house!
Unless someone was in the house at the time…then the giant situation is clearly worse.

I wake up every morning before work at an ungodly hour.
I do this to make sure that I can transform my natural mess into an ironed order.
 This is not an easy task.
Imagine you spent 6 hours putting together a card house.  Then a gust of wind comes along and knocks the entire thing down.  Wouldn’t you consider that a severe waste of your time?  Wouldn’t you get even the slightest bit upset?
That is the equivalent of a bad hair day.

Let me show you what I mean!
One of these is really my natural hair.  Can you guess which hot mess it is??

Humidity turns my hair into this and makes me want to cry.

Hair like this makes me very late for work.

Dry hair days like this make me want to stand in a garden to scare away crows.

When my hair turns out like this I get shunned by outsiders for fear that I’m Medusa.

When I let my hair air dry product free, I feel a sudden urge to stand under a disco ball and boogie on down in a pair of bell bottoms.

Moral of the story is, my hair drives my perfectionist self off the damn wall.
Give me a bad hair day and everything is thrown off in my wannabe perfect world.
I just want to cuddle under my snuggie in the privacy of my home and close all the blinds.

On average, ladies experience this trauma 3 days a week.
For the love of God, I may need to be committed…

How do you deal with bad hair days?


  1. LMAO that was too funny. I suppose if placenta can help you not look like Medusa and turn people to stone, it does have its finer points..hahahaha

    And with that dress Peaches wanted you to buy, you can take your scarecrow hair and go out on the farm, sure the farmers would appreciate it..LOL

    Don't you want to rock out to Cebu under a disco ball? I'm sure you could put Pat and The Cracks to shame with that act..hahaha...maybe even get your weeble on too...haha

    Giants crushing my house? Geez that is just mean. I will have to find a magic bean and go blow theirs up. And if I spent 6 hours making a card house, I'm pretty sure I'd think that was a waste of time either considering the second one is the only picture with an actual background, is that the hot mess?

  2. The lady picture looked like a chia pet!

  3. Tht was supposed to say LAST picture, not lady. Stupid autocorrect.

  4. I SCREAM! HaHa Hair displays no kind of emotions. HaHaHa It has a mind of it's own girl. So frustrating!

  5. @Pat...Really? This dramatic post struck you as funny??? LOL! Figures!

    LOL Awww Cebbbbuuuu achoo moo moo...but WHAT is a weedle? Like the pokemon? And I could NEVER put Pat and The Cracks to shame. That's the main attraction :P hahaha

    What's wrong w/ a card house? That takes skill!

    and, yes, you found the hot mess. That's problem #2 with why I'm always a half hour late for everything! Sigh...

  6. oh,lols..I have straight long black hair, and when my hair is not on the mood to go with what I want, aahhh, I'll just pony it up to avoid those pictures above..hahaha Nice sharirg jax, those pictures made me laugh.. :))

  7. hahaha what's so dramatic about you telling us you need to be committed? I already knew that...hahahaha

    I meant leedle, hit the wrong key. Shame on me. hahaha I guess you could just be the opening act then.

    It does take skill, but is it the best use of ones time? haha

    Well that hot mess beats the rest of them, the rest are a bit more scary...hahaha..half an hour? No wonder you are late.

  8. Oh, when you get older it won't matter as much, trust me. I do understand your pain, though. I think I may have stayed home once or twice because of unruly hair.

  9. EVERY day is a bad hair day for me right now =-( I'm trying to grow it out and it's in that horrible awkward stage, I hate it.

    P.S. I'm hosting a Shabby Apple giveaway, come enter!

  10. @Pat...Omg, with the LEEDLE!!!! It haunts me...My brother and our biff, like to chase me around screaming that. Or they'll call me, leedle, and hang up. If ask them for a favor, they won't help me unless I leedle for them. It's awful! You think the world has problems? I'm haunted by leedlers!!!!

    no, no. It takes me WAY more than a half hour to do my hair! But, typically, I'm a half hour late to anything and everything.

    and why not with the card house? When brother and I were bored we would try so hard to make one. We never got past the 3rd floor! You should try it!!

  11. I am glad my hair isn't one of my obsessive things or I'd never be able to leave the house. I have Greek lady hair, which is one step away from sista hair. I just wash it at night then sleep on it and that is flat enough for me. If I had to flatiron on a regular basis I would light the world on fire.

  12. I pull it back and hope for the best!

  13. I am really experiencing a bad hair lifetime. I actually think it would be cool to have a big afro like young Bob Dylan...then there would be something unique about me... Well, I guess it's not unique because it's young Bob Dylan's hair. But that is neither here nor there. I struggle to roll out of bed as it is. I can't imagine how horrible it is for women to have to wake up 5 hours early to have to do their hair before work. But then again, your bosses never ask you to do any heavy lifting because that might mess up your hair and nails, and then you culd sue I guess that part is good.

  14. LOL if all else fails leedle and hang up...hahaha that is great. Well being haunted by leedlers beats The Popper..haha and at least you know how to get what you want, leedle and there you go..haha

    WAY more, geesh, no wonder you're having a fit.

    I never said I never did it before, I've made quite a few card houses. 6 hours is pushing it though..LOL

  15. I'm with you, Jax. A bad hair day can put a damper on the rest of my day. I just feel off. If it's really, really bad and I have something important to do - I'll re-do my hair.

  16. Ah, the beauty of shaving my head down to nearly nothing.

    You should try it!

  17. i always feel like somewhat of a failure that i'm a 30-something and still can't control my hair half the time. you'd think i'd learn by now...

  18. Have you noticed that your makeup looks like shit on bad hair days too? Everything seems to go to pot. I put my hair up in a pony tail, try to do something special with my makeup, but it still makes me feel like crap for having bad hair.

  19. At least your hair is long enough to be put back in a ponytail! When my hair is unmanagable its to short to handle that way! And you girls have it easy with styling the hair on your head!! Me I gotta worry about the hair on the top of my head and the hair on the bottom of my face!! You girls are lucky you don't have to worry about beards! (well most girls...)

  20. @Youngman...I have an appointment with my hairdress for tomorrow evening. I'll make sure to consult her about shaving the entire thing off. It would certainly save me time. hahaha

    @Beserc...I never wear my hair in a pony tail. Ever. I'm not sure why, but I Just don't like it. hahahaha

  21. @Pat...I'd rather move a boulder by myself than leedle. A few months ago I went to visit him at his dorm. He wouldn't let me out of his dorm room until I leedled. And there were people there! How mean?!

    At least I have hair! Using the same shampoo everyday you're going to be bald!!!!!!

  22. Yes, do that and then take a picture! Be all Natalie Portman with it.

    And picture #2 is you, right?

  23. i´m gonna go for picture number 1!
    bad hair days are the worst. it can definitely make you feel ugly. it´s terrible!
    considering my hair is thin i usually don´t suffer from volume disasters, but the lil bastard gets greasy like nothing! so usually what i do when i´m looking at a weird hair day i comb it back, and put it up in a bun. bang! mess hidden. :) another good idea, avoid mirrors until you fix it!

    XO Jannine

  24. Jax, I'm so terribly lazy that I just put it up in a ponytail. There are so many other things I have to do, like shower :)

  25. @Youngman...Yes, that's my poor head of hair w/o it straightened. Awful! The real question is, who's Natalie Portman. Google here I come!

  26. @Jannine...LOL My hair is thin so the top oils and the bottom poofs! The WORST. I don't wear my up, but maybe I should try that for those bad hair days... And, no, I'm not #1. hahaha (I'm 2, but shhh, don't the others!)

  27. You look pretty even with a blurred face and "awful" hair.

    And do you seriously not know who Natalie Portman is?

  28. LOL lets hope the boulder is ontop a hill, then you'd prob push it and crush some poor guys car..hahaha....that is sooo funny. I guess leedling is your fate whether you like it or not..haha

    I hope to still have 20 years or so before I go bald..haha

  29. the wife spends an hour every morning doing her hair...then if we're going out in the evening, another hour.
    There is also nothing quite like hell on earth as her being caught outside in a shower with no umbrella.

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  31. @Youngman....LOL You like the blurred face? hahahaha Why, thank you! :)

    and Natalie Portman...ok black swan...I know her! But she was bald? When?!

  32. Natalie Portman - Bald in V for Vendetta

    Sigourney Weaver - Bald for Alien 3

    Britany Spears - bald because she's a nut

  33. Lol Pat, your Britney Spears comment made me laugh.

  34. I shave my head so I probably will never have a bad hair day!

  35. @Pat and Youngman...You two are SO funny. Leave poor Britney alone. She's not a nut, she just had a little breakdown. The poster of her on my ceiling is having a little of a breakdown too... hahaha

    and I've never seen either of those movies. But I'm sure that my bald head will look as lovely as them! Ok, maybe not. I may just go with a 1/4 inch trim... LOL

  36. LOL poor poster, I hope she doesn't crinkle up, that might do well for your ocd..hahaha

    Oh I'm sure you would still look oh so lovely bald, and at least there would be no need for placenta..LOL

  37. your hair is pretty all curly like that!

  38. Men just don't understand this do they? But then again, we love them even when they look like crap, so it's easy to be a man. When my hair won't do anything at all, I put it in a pony tail and slap a ball cap on my head.

  39. OMG i wouldnt have gone for #2!! you have curly curls! :) i won´t tell, your secret is safe with me. lol
    try the bun :)

    XO Jannine

  40. hahah, are you the one with the long curly hair???? i deal with bad hair days all the time, usually it means lots of bobby pins!


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