Thursday, February 16, 2012

Vandalized and Sad

Did anyone watch Revenge last night?
If not, you're missing out because this show is juicy!!!
After this post go to and catch up for free!  You'll thank me.
I let loose my box of predictions, and I guessed every single thing right.  I so deserve props for that.  Either that, or maybe I should stop watching so much TV...
Do you guys see that pathetically sad turtle right there?
Come on, the poor guy lost his ice cream!

Well, that turtle is me today.  Except I may be a slightly bit worse.
I cried.  I sniffled.  I yelled.
Nothing made me feel better.

Why is Jax sad today?
You guys caring is what keeps me going!

Some poor, pathetic LOSER stole
HALF OF AN EYELASH off of TheLoveBug!!!
Do people have no more hearts?  Did society lose their souls!?

I went out to dinner with my daddy.  When I walked out, all I saw was my poor baby twitching in the parking lot.

I panicked and yelled at the first man I saw.
"What happened?!"
The poor guy looked at me ready to fight and said "What?"
"My CAR!!!  She's missing lashes!!!"
With this, the random guy turned around to see the yellow VW New Beetle with eyelashes.
He flinched and said "I've never seen that before".
"Well neither did I!!  I'm used to having TWO full sets on there!"
Hearing the commotion my dad, TheViking, came over and gave that poor, random guy the look of death.
Ever get the stink eye from a Viking?  Consider yourself lucky!
The guy froze and belted out "I've only been here five minutes!!  I've seen nothing!!!"

Do you see the missing lashes on the left?
My baby's twitching!
What I want to know is, what the hell is the thief doing with them?!

Our local radio station, z100, has a feature where you can wish diarrhea upon someone for doing no good deeds.  I called z100 this morning.
Through tears, I told the dispatcher that I wanted to wish diarrhea upon the pathetic robber that stole my car-lashes. 
She told me to call back tomorrow when they have no guest speakers.

I will call back tomorrow.
And I will be on the hunt for the co-worker that runs right to the bathroom!!
TheLoveBug was left feeling tainted, abused, and bare.
I want justice.

:( :( :(


  1. I know the feeling of watching too much TV but it doesn't bother me.

    The poor love bug. Prob some stupid drunk that went by and just ripped a few off. Or maybe someone had an itch they couldn't scratch and needed the eyelash to reach

    LMAO you can wish diarrhea upon someone? Oh that would just not be fun. You should definitely record the conversation or get it somehow and post it up, that be too funny. If it's a co-worker, God help them..haha

  2. What a jerk! Any chance an animal could have done that? Or was it definitely a person?

  3. @Pat...Yes, you can wish it on someone. Google "Z100 Wish diarrhea" and it'll come up. Elvis Duran screams "We wish diarrhea upon thee!!!" and then you hear a toilet flush.

    Sigh...I'm very sad :( :( :(

    ...heartbroken actually.

    But it will NOT stop me. I already ordered a replacement. I can't sit by and watch my baby twitch!!!

  4. @Gia...No, b/c it's on there real good. I tried to rip the other one off and it didn't even budge. It was a person. And it was intentional because they would've needed a scissor or a knife to cut it off where they did.

  5. @Pat...and what drunk do you know get's sudden urges to rip off car lashes?!?!?!?!!?! hahahaha

  6. LOL I googled it and your blog came up for it almost right on top..haha Well at least you aren't going to let the poor love bug suffer. Would think people had better things to do, like throwing printers in the road..hahaha

    Ohhhh I know one drunk that would do it with ease, after he punched a hole in the wall like a moron.

  7. youre my only islanders fan that i will allow. and is that seriously your car? eye lashes, seriously?

  8. @Pat...I looked it up and this came up first "Italian Monks Ask God to Deliver Diarrhea to Thief ". LMFAO hahahahahahaha

    I can't believe there isn't more info on this!!!! It's FAMOUS! Whenever you have a problem, you call Elvis Duran to wish diarrhea on that person.

    Try googling "Evlis Duran Wish Diarrhea". I swear it's real!!!

    Are we referring to your all time favorite ex-room mate again? LOL Well, if he runs to the bathroom tomorrow, I'll know it's him!!

  9. Sorry your car lashes were ripped apart and taken. Talk about weird fetishes. That man must be stopped or car lashes everywhere are in danger.

  10. If it's any consolation you don't have to wish liquid a** on said person, 'cause people like that are already made of stinky poos!

    (This comment written by someone who obviously had their keyboard stolen by a 10 year old for a few minutes).

  11. @Spork... LOL LOL I'm sorry, but I hope on top of his natural stank, he gets the most liquidy ass one can get!!!!! hahaha

    (Another 10 year old ran by and commented page. He was so quick, all that I saw was a blur.)

  12. LOL Monks are strange.

    Maybe it's like those two sided cookies of yours, only famous in NY..haha

    Yep, ex-roomate and if he runs to the bathroom make sure to steer clear. The dumby got drunk once, ripped the bathroom apart, put it rear through the wall and everything. Fun!

  13. LOL! They are famous EVERYWHERE!!

    This is almost like when I went to Greece and they were selling squirrels in cages b/c they were such a RARE animal. hahaha

    I'm moving to Canada. Opening a radio show where people can call in and wish diarrhea upon other people. Then at night, I'll sell black & white cookies. I'll be rich and can buy all the car-lashes I want.

    and about your roommate...are you serious?!?!?! What did you do?? He deserved a nice whack with the door just for being so sloshed!!

  14. There's a lot of people walking around this world with their bowels intact that I would wish diarrhea on!

    What a jerk. Who would steal such cute carlashes?!?! How dare he!

  15. Why would someone do that? Because they're haterzzzzz. I don't know why some people get a kick at destroying some else's stuff, but it really irriates me. That's like me seeing a car with a stick I don't like, so I bust out my magic marker and draw penis pics all over it. Grow up!

  16. Dude people suck, WTF!? Who does something like that?

  17. OUTRAGE! I think Pat's right. Some drunk probably stumbled by and grabbed them. Montezuma's revenge style diarrhea for them!

  18. haha ya watching too much tv... drives me crazy after! and who would steal those lashes?! so awful, and what would they DO with them?!

  19. Sorry Jax. That really sux. I hate vandals almost worse than anything.

    That person should get 40 "lashes". Sorry, I hope you can smile a little.

  20. hahaha if squirrels in cages are rare I could get rich over there. Of course with the shower once a week thing, not going to happen..haha.

    Well those cookies and diarrhea radio haven't hit big up here, so you may have yourself a money

    Yep, that's just one of the many things the moron did. He was made to fix it, not much else I really could do but wait for the year to be done and be roomate free forever. But I got my little digs in to this day he doesn't know

  21. I empathize with both your sadness and the thief's needs. Don't get me wrong, it was a dastardly deed that should not go unpunished, but I fear that the culprit may have a rare skin condition that makes their back itch so much that only the soft tickle of your LoveBug's eyelashes can scratch.

  22. dag nabbit....I just read Pat's comment. Great minds? or psychic plagiarism? I'm 100% sure it is the first option. I will hope for the diarrhea for him as well. Not Pat, but the culprit.

  23. @Shock...LOL don't wish diarrhea on Pat. I'll never hear the end of it :)

    But if I can get enough of us to wish it on the criminal, maybe he'll be doomed for at least half a day!!!

  24. @Barfly...It did make me laugh, thanks!! Verryyy clevverrrr. hahaha

  25. If you start selling squirrels, I want a cut!!!! hahahaha Ok, I'll settle for a little video of you trying to catch one.

    Little digs???? Share!!!! I wanna hear :)

  26. I'm so sorry! If anyone did something like that to my bug; I would want to seriously hurt them. I hope the replacement comes quickly.

    I also think that the radio show story is hilarious. You should call back!

  27. LOL well if he wishes diarrhea on me you won't hear about it for a while at least for I'll have the need to feed that porcelin beast.

    With the squirrels I'm afriad the cat would eat into the profits.

    They aren't the nicest things ever, so I'll reframe from comment..haha

  28. @Pat...but the stories sound soooo juicy!!! I can keep a secret. :D

  29. What sort of monster would do such a thing...? Annoying how people can't keep their hands to themselves these days. Replacements aren't too expensive, are they?

  30. @Sub-Radar...They aren't too expensive. Only about $40 with shipping. But still!!! :(

    A monster is right!

  31. My girls and I love your Love Bug! What horrible kind of creature would do that to her?! Maybe it was a jealous BMW?!?!

  32. The scum!! I'll make a wish for them to have the screaming shits for two days and to blow chunks for three. They'll have it coming out of both ends if I have my way. (I just left Pats plays and am trying not to rhyme!)

  33. Oh my hell! Seriously? People have nothing better to do than steal your cars lashes? Pathetic. Wish them a diarrhea filled day from me too.
    Secondly my husband is amazing thank you for noticing lol
    and last but not least I think you are amazing and I love the new blog look. It makes it easier for me to read except for the light pink and blue stuff. I can't see that part. Sorry girl.

  34. That is so awful!! What is wrong with people? Who would steal from a harmless little bug? I have kind of been in an "I hate people" mood lately, and this just takes the cake!


  35. Sigh, too bad my Hulu isn't available for my country. And all I get to watch is shitty local television shows.

  36. I'm sorry about your lashes - some people totally suck!

  37. i have not heard of that show before, ill have to check it out. cute eye lashes haha

  38. Isn't there a song that will fill the situation.... something about the "lovebug will getcha if you don't watch out." I guess it means getcha with diarrhea or something of equal value. (I don't know what I'm talking about)

  39. Sorry to hear about your missing lash...that's not cool. Unfortunately jerks still!

  40. i´ve already tweeted my discontent with this situation. so sad to hear about this. it was absolutely unnecessary and completely MEAN to do soemthing like this.
    specially after how excited you were to get them. :(
    i hope that pathetic person gets the Z100 diarrhea!

    feel better Jax!
    XO Jannine

  41. That's a damn shame!!! People are horrible.

  42. Whenever I get a car someday, I would LOVE to have car lashes but sadly I know this is probably what would happen. Considering the fact that whenever I was little people used to steal the antenna toppers from my mom's car, instead of just going and paying a $1. And it was in the Walmart parking lot!


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