Pass Or Fail!

So last Friday I got invited to a boys night out.  No, I'm not really a boy!!!  I'm just one of the whopping two whole "younger" females at the company I work for.  The guys from work were all going out for a few drinks and they invited me to join.  Skipping the part where I got lost on the way there because I followed the wrong car to the restaurant, let me share all the juice.  Well, not all the juice.  Turns out there's a boy code, and I had to swear to it!!

Attention All Ladies!!

I'm about to blow your mind!

Us females are NOT the master manipulators that men lead us to believe.

Men are the ones that ask us out, test us with some sneaky quizzes, and then don't call back if we fail.

Allow me to explain.  I sat there at a high top table sipping a Bahama Mama amongst 6 tall glasses of beer.  We joked and laughed like we were sitting at the lunch room table.  I got hit on by the waiter, and they all acted like mean older brothers and grilled the crap out of the poor guy!  Truth is, this is a great group of boys and as out of place as I should've felt, I really belonged.

That's when they introduced me to the boy code.  The rules were short and simple.  Basically everything said "amongst the boys" is kept there.  Ok, locked in the vault it goes!  Inside jokes are made out of every silly little thing said.  Laugh at the inside jokes in public, but don't let anyone else in on them.  Got it!  And no matter what, everyone has each other's backs.  Fight to the death?  Check!

That's when I learned about the dating tips and juicy secrets that men hide from us women.  I learned how they play us and then twist the situation so WE go running back to THEM.  I learned even the men that respect women won't end a relationship until they have a new girl on the back burner.  I learned some real dirty dirt, but that would be against the boy code to share it with you.  No worries ladies, I didn't forget my girl code.  

I am here to warn women everywhere that we are being tested.  All the time!

The Food Test:

If Man #1 puts food on his fork and asks you to take a bite, you better feed!!

He won't call you back if you even hesitate before you munch.

I personally think this means he's a control freak, but who am I to judge?

The Bag Of Chips:

If Man #2 is driving you somewhere and asks you to pass him a bag of chips he sneakily put in the car the night before, you better open that bag for him before you pass it over.

If you hand him a closed bag, you're a done deal.

I personally think this guy put way too much thought into this, but I get it.  The date who doesn't open the bag is inconsiderate.

The Wallet:

If Man #3 gets you to ask him to hang out, you better offer to pay.

If you don't, you won't hear from him again.

He's not looking for no gold diggers!!!!!

The Waste:

If Man #4 takes you out to eat, you better finish every last drop on your plate.

If you don't, he's going to lose your number quicker than green grass goes through a goose.

What?!?!?!  We're little!!  How much do you want us to eat??  Let's compromise!  Can we wrap it up and take the rest home...

You're welcome ladies.  Normally I wouldn't go against the guy code, but I felt that you needed to know!  Watch out for these tests, pass them, and show those boys how good we really are!!!!

What sneaky tests do you give your dates??

-Jax