Wednesday, February 29, 2012

All Growed Up!

Saturday is a very special day.
It's my baby boy's Godson's birthday.
He'll be turning a whopping 2 years old.
Holy crap did time fly!!

My cousin is planning a real special party for our special little man.
She even got a special guest coming.  Elmo is supposed to show, but shhh...don't tell!
We'll be serving all sorts of Italian yumminess, delicious Seasame Street cake, and fun party games!
My contributions will be making the desserts, helping set up, and smothering my little Cheese with extra love.

Being the awesome Auntie that I am, I want to spoil the baby rotten!
And not with unlimited hugs and kisses.  Ok..those too!
When he was born, I opened a college savings account for him.  My main birthday gift to him is a significant addition to this account.  Borringggg ZzZz, I know!
So I ran out about bought some Veggie Tales dvds.
I already volunteered to watch these on repeat with him.  That cucumber is so damn catchy!

While that may seem like enough, no baby boy wants desserts, money, or dvds!
They want something fun.
Here's what I came up with as the cherry on top of his birthday sundae!


1.  Ball Pit
An inflatable ball pit sounds so fun that I sort of want one for myself now.
They're safe right?  It's not like you can drown in there?!

2.  PlasmaCar
This just looks like something that a little boy would love!

3.  Fighting Betta Fish
Because nothing says I love you like a fish...
I think my little Cheese would love to watch the fishies!
4.  Swing Set
Every kid enjoys swings and going down the slide!
For the love of God, I still even walk to the park sometimes just to swing.


Well, those are my 4 ideas of what to buy a 2 year old for his birthday.

What are your birthday present suggestions for a toddler?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Shellac & Placenta

Today I want to talk about two things that are high priority for us ladies.
Sorry dudes!  I'll talk about your priorities next time....
This post is all about hair & nails.

Raise your hand if you go for a manicure every week.
Every stinking week you have to sit in that uncomfortable chair with your arms held out while someone else pokes and pulls at your cuticles.
Contrary to male beliefs:  We love the result but dislike hate the process.
After spending 15 minutes making the ridiculously difficult decision of which color to don for a whole week, the polish chips after an hour.
The manicure lasts a whole whopping hour.
I tear up every time it chips.  My OCD hates it!

I've recently discovered that there is a such thing as a UV manicure.
It's a little more expensive and it takes a little longer to do, but it lasts longer.
My nails are dressed up with a pretty color that stays chip free for 2 whole weeks.
I even went 3 weeks one time and they still looked great!

I tried OPI, Gellaxy, and Shellac UV manicures before.
Shellac, to me, was the best brand.
They had the best color selection, longest wear time, and reportedly the healthiest formula.
Supposedly, the OPI gel polish contributed to some sort of nerve damage.

How do you take care of your nails?

Raise your hand if you hair is over processed from heat styling, hair straightening, and alcohol based products.
I know mine is thin, dry, and very unhealthy!

After dyeing my hair red for the 3rd time in one month, my hair got so thin it was like paper.
I freaked out and ran to my hair dresser savior.
Her name is Gail.
She ran her fingers through my hair.
She poked my scalp.
& she trimmed the ends.
Then she gave her diagnosis.
My hair was over processed and the only way to get my hair back to it's regular, healthy state was to sleep over night with a placenta mask.
Bleh, gag, barf!  I know...that was my reaction too.

I sat home and thought about it.
Rubbing animal placenta throughout my head was a small price to pay for healthy hair.
I grabbed Peaches and ran to the beauty supply store.
That night I fought through the gags and massaged the product throughout my head.
I then put on a shower cap, laid down a towel, and went to sleep.
It took a while to fall asleep thinking about the nastiness seeping into my hair follicles!

The next morning I woke up with the most beautiful, shiny, thick head of hair that I've in months!
From this point forward I'll keep up with my trims, stop with the dyeing, and use placenta regularly.
You're welcome, hair!

What do you use to keep your hair healthy?
Monday, February 27, 2012

Disgruntled Timelines

How many of you are on Facebook?
Or, as Papa calls it, TheFacebook!
Yes, my grandfather is on there...

I'm guilty as well.
I'm there and have been tagged in about 500 pictures that I would prefer people not to see.
I'm there and have been tagged in posts that would make my stalkers very happy.
I'm there.  In all my glory.  Sharing way too much information with the public.
Well, not anymore.  I spent my weekend clearing it all out.

I'm not the person that sits on Facebook and stalks everyone out.
Unless if I have a hot date!  I mean, how else would I know if you're a play boy or not??
I simply have it because it's a great tool to communicate with people that you would normally have lost contact with.  Think of it as a family and high school reunion all packed into one.
Ok, maybe that's more of a nightmare than a good thing!

The reason why I am bringing all this up is, Facebook is forcing users to have a "timeline".
This timeline will make it too easy to access all of your information from God knows how far back.
Many of us abused Facebook in the beginning because nobody knew it existed.
This was before it blew up and it was just you and your friends on there.
Remember the days when Facebook was private?  You had to be in a college network to even sign up!

Do you want your papa who now has TheFacebook to see who knows what posted from when you were a freshman in college?
Didn't think so!

Stop reading this post and clean up your Facebook.
Before your nanny, papa, manager, or stalker ex-b/f see things they shouldn't!
Friday, February 24, 2012

Mucho Gusto!

Yesterday after class I was browsing through
We all know how Jax loves some Glamour!
I saw an article about a girl that wasn't sure if her friend was a "true" friend.
Glamour responded by telling her to try and meet new people.
Ok, it can never hurt to meet new people.
New people means new experiences and a new adventure.
Count me in!

There was just one problem.
Glamour never told us how to meet new people.
There's no "next" button to hit when you want to make a new friend.
Well, lucky for Glamour, Jax is here to pick up the pieces!!!

1.  Work.
I've made plenty of friends through work.  Not just my co-workers, but other people in the building too.  Start yapping with people and you'll be surprised the relationships you can form!

2.  Class.
Take a class!  It doesn't have to be a college course.  It can simply be a yoga class or something done in your public library.  Either way, learn something and meet people!

3.  Gym.
Personally, I've never met anyone in a gym, but I've seen plenty of other people form friendships that way.  Maybe if I didn't go to the gym with someone already I would have better luck...

4.  Dry Cleaners.
You can always lurk around your local dry cleaners on the weekend.  I've met dozens of people that way.  I've gotten a few dates and a couple of professional contacts this way.   Ok, maybe this only works if your father is the owner...

5.  References.
Put the word out that you're trying to meet new people.  You'll be surprised who your real family and friends will introduce you to!  Hopefully it's a good surprise and not your friend trying to get a creeper off his/her back!  Kidding...

6.  Train.
Peaches and I think this one is a brilliant idea!  Just hop on the train and ride it back and forth.  You meet a lot of people that way!  Trust me, it works!!

7.  Dance Lessons.
Sign up for some dance lessons.  Then cross your fingers for a sexy, Ricky Martin look alike as your salsa partner.  Ole!!

8.  Vacation.
Peaches and I use  Go on a mini-vacation using a group tour.  You're bound to bond with all new people that way.  And who knows?  Maybe you'll even find a hot, long distance love affair!!  My girlfriend did!

9.  Fender Bender.
Who says getting rear ended doesn't have any positive repercussions???  I got rear ended at a red light once and made a decent buddy out of it.  Ok, so he was really a psycho that later admitted to crashing into me on purpose.  Don't do this one.  It's an awful idea!

10.  Regular.
Become a regular customer at a place.  Then go there the same time on the same day of the week.  I go to Starbucks every Saturday around 3 to do some studying.  It's crazy how people open up to you when you become a familiar face!

How do you meet new people?
Have a lovely weekend everyone!!!!
Thursday, February 23, 2012

Do The Cat Walk!!

As you all know, I made it an end of the world bucket list mission to give myself a makeover.
I told you guys why in this post.
Here's to it turning out better than the Car-Lashes!

I started my mission by cleaning out both of my closets.
Turns out I love to buy clothes that I'll never wear only to hoard them on a hanger!
After filling about 4 whole bags with clothes that I no longer wanted, I passed them along to TheViking's g/f's daughter.  For the record, she's 15 and fits in them perfectly!  Sigh...

The next step was to find a clothing store that is good quality, great style, and very petite.

My Aunt and I ventured off to the city to browse through the Macy's on 34th street.
Guess I was hoping for a miracle!  <-- hahaha get it?  Miracle on 34th st?? Ok, I'll stop...
After a four hour shopping escapade throughout that monster department store, I left empty handed.  Would you believe that I didn't fit into ANYTHING in a 14 story, jam packed store??  It took 3 hours just to sort through the petites section.
After a quick stop at H&M to buy a few cute tops, we headed home.
...with our heads hung low from failure...

That's when I had an epiphany.
There is a woman that works somewhere in my office building that is shorter than me by a few inches.  Even though she's shorter, we have a very similar body type.
I often admire her flawless sense of style as we pass in the hallway.
I hope she doesn't think I'm checking her out!
The following Tuesday I tracked her down in the bathroom and demanded to know where she shops.
That was it.  It was gold.  I finally found a store where I could fit into the clothes without even bothering my tailor.

That's a really happy turtle via.

Petite women need to shop at Ann Taylor.

That night I grabbed Peaches, drove like a mad woman, and skipped joyously into the wonderland of The Loft.
I asked the saleswoman to point me in the right direction.
There I was.
Holding a perfect pair of slacks.
I looked at the size to see 00PP.
Then a tear slowly slid down my cheek.
A happy tear.

I bought 2 tops and 2 pants to start.
I can't wait to go back and fill my closet.
I found my store.

How did you find "your" store?
And what is it?  Come on, I'm dying to know...especially from all my petite readers.  Hollaaa!!!  :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Cat's Outta The Bag

Many of us bloggers are exceptional at multitasking.
We all have to dedicate ourselves to our jobs, families, friends, school, and our blogs.
Many of us even visit other bloggers while at work!  Shhh, it's a secret...
The only thing that keeps me sane while analyzing billions of numbers, is visiting all the other blogs.  I love commenting on your pages and making friends with people halfway around the world.
I especially love this when it entertains me at work.

One of my favorite stops throughout the blogosphere is to a rhyming cat at It's Rhyme Time!
I'm sure many of you know him, but if not, head over there now.  You're missing out!
There's just one problem!
This sneaky, trouble making, little kitty cat is determined to get me in trouble.
During one of our spats trying to compute points to win nothing, the cat made his plan very clear!  He continuously rhymes about the glee he gets at my expense.
Sadistic much?!?!?

Here's a list of reasons why you shouldn't talk to a rhyming cat at work!!

1.  CooCoo.  The random, loud, obnoxious bursts of laughter at nothing will leave your coworkers thinking you're insane.  AReliableSource always teases me that I'm laughing at the voices in my head.  For the record, that isn't true.  It's the damn cat!!

2.  Commercial.  The cat will say something completely out of the blue that will leave you on a 40 minute google spree!  How about the time that cat got me caught watching videos on YouTube of the Wendy's man, Dave Thomas!  Why, cat, why?!  You try and explain that to the Japanese.  I dare you!

3.  Knees.  He'll give you the itchiest knees you've ever had in your life!  That silly cat tried to wish FLEAS upon my knees.

4.  Meetings.  That cat will give you a case of the rhymes!!  It's one thing if I go into a rhyming fit in the privacy of my own home, but how dare he infect me at work!!!!  A few weeks back that cat had me rhyming in a very important meeting.  I said "Bruce Lee's twin is making my head spin"!

5.  Spit.  Since I now know the danger of visiting the cat at work, I squeeze my lips shut real tight before heading to his page.  I fight the giggles like it's for an Olympic medal.  Then that cat has to say something so silly that the laughter just bursts out leaving SPIT all over my computer screen.  For the love of God, my OCD!!

6.  Monkeys.  He will single handedly turn an office filled with about 30 people into a complete uproar.  That is not an exaggeration!  He made my entire office come up with different plots on how to smuggle in an illegal monkey.  Hypothetically of course.  PETA, don't you dare send me nasty messages!  AReliableSource was talking about tranquilizing a tarsier and putting it in an anchovy jar.  Giggles was talking about tranquilizing a tarsier and putting it in a suitcase filled with other stuffed animals.  Peaches was talking about starting a conservation so I can obtain one legally.  That cat turned my office upside down for a full day and a half over an adorable Filipino monkey!!!

Don't take away too many points!!  It was all in good fun!!
I want you all to try and explain to your manager that you're not nuts.  You're not laughing at yourself and you don't have the hots for the Wendy's man.  You don't have fleas and have zero real intention of adopting an endangered monkey.  You're simply conversing with a Rhyming Cat.  Hey, that's totally normal, right?

What keeps you sane at work???
Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Liebs!!!

(The Liebs as in The Biebs!!!)
Get it yet?
You will...

Guess what guys?????
Ok, enough guessing!  I'll just tell you...
I won two more awards!

Dreadnaught from Some Things You May Find Interesting gave me the Liebster award!
I can't deny the HUGE smile on my face right now.  Special feeling much?
I originally tagged some liebster blog awards here.

One of my favorite blogging friends is PrettyMeggy from Haus of Gala.
She is one of the sweetest bloggers I met!  Check her page out.
She tagged me in a music blog award.

All I need to do is tag 5 bloggers and list 5 of my favorite songs.
Easy enough!

5.  Jack's Mannequin - Dark Blue
The song makes me smile every time.  It has so many memories attached to it!  Guess that means I listen to it too much...

4.  Corrine Bailey Rae - Put Your Record On
I love the message of this song.  It's a simple and happy sound.

3.  Rihanna - California King Bed
This song is my ring tone!!!  Just saying...

2.  Brand New - Jude Law and His Semester Abroad
This song defines my high school music taste.  This album rocked my house since then!

1.  John Mayer - Bigger Than My Body
This is my all time favorite musician.  He's the only musician I've seen live three times.  I picked this song because I can relate to every line.

So there you have it!  My 5 favorite songs.
There's just one problem!  I can't choose just 5 bloggers to tell me their favorite songs.
Ok, so I'm indecisive.  So what?
But, that doesn't mean that I'm not dying to know everyone's taste in music.
I mean, people's music taste tells a lot about them!

What are your 5 favorite songs?
Monday, February 20, 2012

Forever Young

How was everyone's weekend?
Mine was lovely, thanks!

I spent my weekend with Peaches, Biff, and Brother.
Peaches and I were working on one of the big things on my winter goal list from here.
My makeover is underway!
I'm in the process of trashing all my old clothes and replacing them with new ones.
I can't wait to tackle the shoes!!

Talking about this with Madre led to a comment that's been lingering ever since.
Don't you hate when an annoying thought haunts your brain???
Madre said that no matter how I make myself over, I will forever look 16.
I have a babyface.
Not to mention, I'm only 5 feet tall!

That got me thinking.
My makeover has to get me looking my age, more professional, yet still fun.
It's hard to dress age appropriate when you're so tiny!
I could still fit in the damn children's department!!!!!!

So, do I really look like I am 16?
Let's see.

That is a 14 year old Jax.
What is with that eyeliner?!?!  Awful!
Maybe Madre was wrong.  I don't look 16.  I look 14.  Sigh...

That is a 16 year old Jax.
I look the exact same as I did at 14!!!

This is an 18 year old Jax.
I still did not change at all!

This is me present day, at a whopping 23 years old.
I look the exact same!
I look like I am 14 years old.

It's hard to work in a professional environment and be taken seriously looking 14.
My goal is to change my hair, makeup, and clothing to look my age.

Peaches has already volunteered to do the job!
I can't wait to be treated like an adult and not a little kid.
When I go out, sometimes the bouncers don't even believe the age on my I.D.
It's awful.
Here's to saying goodbye to my baby face!

What physical changes did you need to make to be taken serious?
Friday, February 17, 2012

Down with the Monkeys!!

Happy Friday!!
Since it's Friday, I have a great excuse to post some HOT pictures.
The CW was on fire last night and left me real high.
Ian Somerhalder and Chris Zylka?  More please!

I'm not sure what Chris is doing here, but I kind of like it...

Well, now that we are all high off of hot men, onto the next fix!

I got tagged by someone pretty awesome.
Bonafide Jones is one of the funniest bloggers on the web.
He pushes all sorts of crazy buttons just to make sure you get a laugh.  Check him out!
Besides, TheHater recently stopped by his page and got him disabled.  Boo!

Alright, here we go!!
If I don't answer every question evil monkeys are supposed to come and ruin me.
Basically, I'll be real thorough!!!

1.  Have you ever cheated on someone?

Sigh...I have to be honest, right?  Yes.  But I was a whopping 18 years old and I confessed.  I was even forgiven and continued to be monogamous with him for another 2 years!!  Would I ever do it again?  Absolutely not.  I believe in karma and I wouldn't want that to come back to me.  

2.  What do you think happens when you die?

I believe in spirits.  I believe in the supernatural.  I somewhat believe in past lives.  Basically, I'm real gullible.  I don't think our energy just dies.  I just think our bodies do and our energy takes on a new form.  Kind of like when a hermit crab outgrows its' shell.

3.  If female, do you think that you're pretty?

Jones, you're killing me with these deep questions!!  I don't think that I am ugly.  I don't think that I'm gorgeous either.  Being the perfectionist I am, I see about 5,000 things wrong with me and the way I look.  Would I change any one of those things?  Absolutely not!  The good, the bad, and the mediocre all make me, me!

4.  Stars.  Old light or new?

I have no idea.  Nor do I really care.  LOL 
I had a guy once ask me to go outside and look at the stars.  Why would I want to do that?  Let's stay inside with the AC and stare at a light bulb.  Same thing?  No?
I guess it's safe to say that I don't really care for stars! hahaha

5.  For a million dollars would kill another person?  They really aren't all that important and you will not get caught.

They are alive and that makes them important.  I could never take away the life of another human being.  Hell, I wouldn't even kill a mouse for a million bucks!!!  Pathetic, I know...

6.  As a rule, should all religions be treated/respected equally?

Yes.  Who are we to judge other people's faith?  If I want to worship a holy grain of rice, let me be!  As long as I ain't hurting you or anyone else, what do you really care?

7.  Think of something embarrassing that you did that makes you cringe every time that you think of it.  What is it?

I have so many.  I don't know where to start...
A few years ago I was in Pathmark with Madre.  I ventured over to the stationary section and was looking through all of the pretty papers.  Both my hands were filled with junk when I had the urge to sneeze.  I tried to hold it in.  That was a fail.  Before I knew it, I let out a huge freaking sneeze.  Just as I yelled out "Achoo!!!", some guy stuck his arm right in front of my face.  I sneezed all over the poor saps bare arm.  He jumped!  I jumped and dropped everything!  This is the worst part...  Instead of apologizing profusely and excusing myself, I started bursting out laughing right in his face!  I was laughing so hard that I had tears, couldn't speak, and my shoulders were flapping.  Madre had to come over to apologize, hide me behind her, and then burst out laughing herslef!
That story never leaves this blog!!!!!!

8.  If you knew everyone that you know is going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?  It doesn't matter whether or not they want to see you.

My family.  Madre, Brother, TheViking, Nanny, Papa, GodSon, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins...and so on.  And they'd all have to spend the day together.  Maybe they all died because they were forced to be together in the same room!?

9.  Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Life is about making memories.  If you can't remember anything, what's the point of living?  I would never want to only live in the past.

10.  If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?

Because we are afraid and because there's a coward in all of us.  I want to see the world.  I would love nothing more than to get up tomorrow, buy a plane ticket, and meet new people  and new cultures.  Why don't I?  Because I'm afraid of  who's going to pay my bills.  I'm afraid of traveling without a plan.  I'm afraid of falling in love with a place that I can't stay.  The list goes on.  These are deep questions!  You're surprising me here, Jones!

11.  If Hollywood made a movie about your life, what actor do you think would be cast to play you?

I hope it would be Evangeline Lilly.  She is one of my ultimate girl crushes.  She's gorgeous, has a great head on her shoulders, and views life in a very similar way as me.  If you watch her in interviews, she herself is very captivating.  Her energy just sucks you in!  I would love to hear her stories about the creepers she attracts!!!!

And there you have it!  All 11 answers so you can send those evil monkeys away!!
I'm just glad that he didn't ask me about a baby in a microwave...

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!!!!