Monday, January 16, 2012

Well, if it's not the spark...

Happy Monday everyone!!  For those of you who were graced with a 3 day weekend, what were your big plans?  I spent mine getting my nails did a bright melon color, dyeing Madre's hair jet black, and annoying the hell out of my dogs.  There's my little weiner pooch, Sir Phillip Bluda, posing with his favorite lady :)


During the quality time I spent with Madre today, we embarked on a very interesting topic.  Everyone always tells me that Madre and I have a lot in common (God help me...), but today it became especially apparent.  Turns out her and I love to fawn over hot men, keep our homes in OCD living conditions, and giggle over every little, stupid thing!  The list doesn't end there.  Apparently we also both like to blame relationships not working on a random, stupid quirk or event.  Yes, we know this is dumb.  But life would be oh so boring if we just blamed it on the "spark" missing...

1.  Boring.  This is my usual excuse.  I need excitement.  If you can't hold a conversation, joke around about nonsense, or be open to try new things, then you're not right for me.

2.  Nose Hairs.  I'm 5 foot.  I spend the majority of my life looking up.  That means my view is normally the inside of your nose.  For the love of God, trim your nose hairs!!!  Sure I could've just bought him trimmers, but that would've been too easy...

3.  Spontaneous.  I'm all for sitting around watching a movie or a TV show, but I'm also all about spontaneity and adventure.  So what if I want to drive 3 hours to go to a Waffle House that Robert Downey Jr. ate at once???  Sigh...

4.  Clingy.  I'm independent and love my life.  If you need to be up my butt 24/7 then it's not going to work.

5.  Nail Clipper.  I once broke up with a guy for clipping his nails.  Don't give me that look!!!!  Imagine you're the passenger in a car when your man screams OMG and clips his nail going 60 mph.  Exactly...

6.  Superstitious.  While I may be guilty of this one, there are extremes!!  My ex's mother used to dip leaves in oil and than wave them in face.  I used to have some weird smoke machine waved under my armpits to ward off spirits before I entered the door.  I could make a whole post about the weird things they made me do...

7.  Bathroom.  Men in a bathroom...yuck.  Between shavings in the sink, pee on the rim of the bowl, and God knows whatever else they do in there, this is a classic excuse for me.  Bad bathroom habits kill my OCD...

Madre and I were cracking up over a cup of tea and a bowl of gingerbread men reminiscing about all these different things.  That's when she started talking about her current gentleman caller.  We can refer to him as TheSnitz.  Why TheSnitz?  Because I don't like him.  Just by the way she speaks about him, I can tell that "it" isn't there.  That's when Madre asked me the big question and gave me the go ahead to ask you:


How do you get a man to shave his head?
See where I'm going with this?  Like mother, like daughter...

-Jax

29 comments:

  1. Plant lice in his hair?


    Or is that too much?

    ReplyDelete
  2. If I can finish your sentences in my head I can't get away fast enough. I so appreciate your posts. You never just 'phone it in'. Thank you for being interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As a man who has a shaved head I can tell you that if you tell a guy he is losing his hair he will be more willing to make the jump. However the real key will be how his head looks without hair. I am lucky, I have a good head for it but boy I have seen some bald guys that need to wear a hat at all times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your mother is just as funny as you Jax! HaHaHa I can't stand a man with long nails or nose hairs. Ewwww! Just go away. LOL Sir Phillip is just too cute. That's a great pic of the both of you. I can't wait to see who you marry! That's gonna be funny. The stories. The stories. We have to stay blogging buddies. HaHaHa

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the blog hun! Happy to be your newest follower <3

    Can't wait to read more!

    Visit sometime, and follow back ?

    -> BARBIE-BOMBSHELL.BLOGSPOT.COM

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nose hair!!! I think I love you for saying this!! Nose hair trimmers aren't expensive.

    And clipping your nails in the car is weird. Sometimes people do it at work (I am in an office environment) and I grosses me out. I swear, some people act like they have never been out in public before.


    *Erin

    ReplyDelete
  7. You need to take yor show on the road! Thanks for making me laugh and fee free to drop by me too, soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A veiled promise of many kinky things will normally convince a man to do anything. Just don't write anything down on paper though and you should be able to weasle out of it.

    Also, I was really confused at the start of this post. In Irish, Madre means Dog. So when you said you had dyed Madre's hair black and had the picture of the cute little weiner dog I instantly jumped to the wrong conclusion.

    ReplyDelete
  9. When I was single and dating, boring and clingy were the kiss of death. I like the nose hair one. I'm 5"1' and can relate to that. My hubby shave his head a few months ago. I tell him he looks sexy. Now I need to find a way to get him to trim his beard!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Knock him out with some pills or something and get to shaving. Say he got drunk and did it and then walla! LOL I hate bad bathroom habits too and it sure as heck isn't just men, I've met plenty of women who have nasty ones.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh yeah and cute weiner too! That sounds so wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i imagine you and your mom talking about this!!! but hey i can tell you we're more or less alike :)
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love it. Maybe you can develop a handout for the next potential guy, and I can loan him our kids portable potty so he can keep it in his car--thus eliminating all the yuck guy things going on around the toilet.

    ReplyDelete
  14. cute blog as a man i feel i need to follow this for more info ^^

    ReplyDelete
  15. i can't stand the sound of nails being clipped for some reason. although, the person that has their office next to me clips thiers every morning and it drives me crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  16. aaainnns! Im agree! but my son is nice and cute(lol) also in the bathroom!
    Love your picture!

    ReplyDelete
  17. My husband bites his nails, and it drives me insane! He also has horrible bathroom habits. There's just some things I didn't find out about him until after we married.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hygiene = so key! You wouldn't think you had to actually list that as criteria...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aw...Sir Phillip is adorable. And he poses so nicely! :)

    Love your excuses here. I live with 5 men...yep the bathroom thing is a real problem.

    clipping nails while driving? are you serious?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Oh my gosh, the nose hairs. I'm 5'1'' and know EXACTLY what you're talking about :)

    Since Im married now, I live with a boy 24/7 and let me just tell you... bathroom habits do NOT get better. I'm slightly OCD, too. Gross me out.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice post! :)
    +1 Follower !

    Visit my blog ! :)

    http://for-the-internetz.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  22. I say she should get him drunk and when he passes out...shave it for him, place the clippers in his hand and then tell him he did it when he was all sorts of wasted.

    ReplyDelete
  23. why does the head need to be shaved?

    ReplyDelete
  24. Lol clipping his nails? Come on now. At least he didn't have grizzly cliff hangers. I'm giggling at this one. Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well if that isn't the cutest picture of you and the pup then I don't know what is.

    Thanks for your comment today - love, the lady with 6th grade bangs

    ReplyDelete

Spread a smile with a comment!

Search This Blog

My photo
I'm a dedicated mother, wife, employee, student, blogger, and a true Long Islander in every way!

Instagram

Labels

List That totally makes me smile Eep I really really REALLY don't know how I feel about that That lightbulb totally means I got an idea MushyFace I'm like so scared Friday ramblings MyMan It's a holiday For the love of all things holy Life Yummy Yummy Yummy I'm honored to extend the Jax seal of approval Party Rocking Wedding For shame Working women say cha ching Deep breathe Happy Birthday Recipe That's just so scandalous Bleh Gag Barf Brother Dating Sicilian Pride Says Bada Binggg Madre I'm totally not a fan It's a link up Pat Hatt That man is really yummy Let's discuss! TheViking Let's play a Jax game Nanny Question of the Month All in good fun! Peaches A Life Examined Cousin Memories So stylish A moment of silence Biff Luciana Manly Men Go Errrrrr My sincerest apologies Prince Charming Ask Jax Book Club Buddy Hubby Money Sigh of relief Sis beauty beauty guilty pleasures Easter Fifty Shades of Grey GodSon Happy Birthday Muffin Home sweet home Review The Avengers Carlos Contest Don't trust me with your fish Healthy habits Hipsters I Won I Won I Won Mancation what? Once Upon a Time Tab Thank YOU! Aaron Hernandez Candyfloss and Persie Chris Hemsworth Chris Zylka Gerard Butler Glamour Ian Somerhalder Michael Dagostino My Five Men NE Patriots Papa Pets Supernatural TV The Love Bug The Secret Circle Thor the Puppy of Thunder married life 7% Solution Baby Childhood Fears DIY FashionitaRG I really really REALLY want a new critter Jared Padalecki Just a woman and her goal Lady In Red Lemme Take A Selfie NFL Oui Oui Revenge Robert Downey Jr. Rock that green thumb! RussianHatMan Rusty Sporkgasm Target That decor is fabulous That's just gross Totally dreaming Travels Youngman Brown Aaron Carter Annes Attic Antonio BJ's Sweet Nothings Betsy Boyfriend Chopstick Diet Crazy World Dress to impress Eileen Daspin Elsie GodMother Guest Post Hollywood Spy I cry Instagram It's a Cuban thing Jamie Dornan Jensen Ackles L LLS Linda Miraculous Ladies Miss Universe New Girl Pat Hatt Time Phoebe Tonkin R&W will be back soon Scandal Shelley Hennig Spill the juice! The Manhattan Diet The Seinfeld Syndrome Throw back! Vampire Diaries Wentworth Miller Zooey Deschanel
 
Designed by Munchkin Land Designs • Copyright 2012 • All Rights Reserved