Well, if it's not the spark...

Happy Monday everyone!!  For those of you who were graced with a 3 day weekend, what were your big plans?  I spent mine getting my nails did a bright melon color, dyeing Madre's hair jet black, and annoying the hell out of my dogs.  There's my little weiner pooch, Sir Phillip Bluda, posing with his favorite lady :)

During the quality time I spent with Madre today, we embarked on a very interesting topic.  Everyone always tells me that Madre and I have a lot in common (God help me...), but today it became especially apparent.  Turns out her and I love to fawn over hot men, keep our homes in OCD living conditions, and giggle over every little, stupid thing!  The list doesn't end there.  Apparently we also both like to blame relationships not working on a random, stupid quirk or event.  Yes, we know this is dumb.  But life would be oh so boring if we just blamed it on the "spark" missing...

1.  Boring.  This is my usual excuse.  I need excitement.  If you can't hold a conversation, joke around about nonsense, or be open to try new things, then you're not right for me.

2.  Nose Hairs.  I'm 5 foot.  I spend the majority of my life looking up.  That means my view is normally the inside of your nose.  For the love of God, trim your nose hairs!!!  Sure I could've just bought him trimmers, but that would've been too easy...

3.  Spontaneous.  I'm all for sitting around watching a movie or a TV show, but I'm also all about spontaneity and adventure.  So what if I want to drive 3 hours to go to a Waffle House that Robert Downey Jr. ate at once???  Sigh...

4.  Clingy.  I'm independent and love my life.  If you need to be up my butt 24/7 then it's not going to work.

5.  Nail Clipper.  I once broke up with a guy for clipping his nails.  Don't give me that look!!!!  Imagine you're the passenger in a car when your man screams OMG and clips his nail going 60 mph.  Exactly...

6.  Superstitious.  While I may be guilty of this one, there are extremes!!  My ex's mother used to dip leaves in oil and than wave them in face.  I used to have some weird smoke machine waved under my armpits to ward off spirits before I entered the door.  I could make a whole post about the weird things they made me do...

7.  Bathroom.  Men in a bathroom...yuck.  Between shavings in the sink, pee on the rim of the bowl, and God knows whatever else they do in there, this is a classic excuse for me.  Bad bathroom habits kill my OCD...

Madre and I were cracking up over a cup of tea and a bowl of gingerbread men reminiscing about all these different things.  That's when she started talking about her current gentleman caller.  We can refer to him as TheSnitz.  Why TheSnitz?  Because I don't like him.  Just by the way she speaks about him, I can tell that "it" isn't there.  That's when Madre asked me the big question and gave me the go ahead to ask you:

How do you get a man to shave his head?

See where I'm going with this?  Like mother, like daughter...

-Jax