Monday, January 2, 2012

The Rant of a Red Head

Because I'm a red head now.  Right? RIGHT?!?  Come on, humor me...

Last night I sat through a Lost marathon with my girlfriend.  Any Lost fans out there?  It's by far my favorite show of all time!!  If you haven't watched it yet, go watch it right now!!  Her and I were talking about the most pathetic New Years resolution we've listened to yet.  We have both heard from more than one girl, "My New Year's resolution is to find a man".  Ok, first off, really???  Second off, I kind of feel sorry for these girls.  Are you that dependent of a person that you can't be happy single?  Sigh...

Let's be honest here, going on dates and playing with boys is most definitely fun.  The whole "dating" experience is an overall good time.  Sure we all want to eventually cross paths with that one person that makes life just that much better, but why rush through the whole fun adventure of "dating"?  Too many girls are rushing into relationships and getting married way before they are ready.  How about the poor women in physically or mentally abusive relationships because they rushed into something?  So for every girl that's feeling a little insecure, here's why you don't want a committed relationship right now.

1.  Self Sufficient.  Are you self sufficient?  Personally, I wouldn't even think about settling down with someone until I knew that I was financially stable enough to take care of myself.  Too many women are stuck in unhappy marriages because they feel that their hubby is their only source of income.  No thank you...I'd rather be with someone that I want, not someone that I need.

2.  Secure.  Can you look in the mirror and be happy with what you see?  Can you make life changing decisions and trust your instincts?  Commitment wouldn't cross my mind until I am able to say that I'm confident in myself.  It's not a man's job to make you secure.  Realize your worth on your own.  You don't need someone else to point it out for you.

3.  Curiosity.  Can you walk down the street without being curious of what it would be like to date that kind of guy?  Play around to get know what you want and what you don't want.  There are so many flavors!  Try them all until your satisfied you've had enough.

4.  Goals.  Do you know what you want from life?  Figure out who you are first so you can filter out the men that want different things.  I want to see the world.  Well, that knocks off all men with a fear of flying.  Catch my drift? haha

5.  Bathroom.  Imagine sharing a bathroom with someone else?  Enough said.

6.  Career & Education.  Are you happy with your career?  If you aren't where you want to be job wise then maybe you need to wait before you dedicate all your time to someone else.  Stupid 17 year old LMF gave up a scholarship and the school of her dreams because of a backwards Greek boyfriend that felt women can't be more educated than men.  It wasn't until I was 20 that I realized he had to go so I could live my own life and start college.

7.  Sleep.  Imagine sharing a bed with someone else?  They may take all of the covers, snore really loudly, or snap in their sleep.  Yes, I said snap.  TheMaintenanceMan SNAPPED in his sleep.  All night long there were snaps to a beat.  How can you sleep while you're trying to figure out what song is playing in your man's head?  Sigh...

8.  Needy.  Do you need to be up a man's butt to be happy?  I promise you that you are more than capable of driving to the mechanic or taking out the trash.  Learn to be independent.  Remember LLS?  He was my stalker...  He couldn't be more than 5 feet away from me with out having a fit.  A boyfriend doesn't mean that you have to be with him every night.   It shouldn't matter if someone is 20 minutes away or a plane ride away.  Either you're happy or your not.

9.  Trust.  Can you trust someone with anything and everything?  Put your man in a closet with the hottest chick in the room.  You need to be able to trust him that nothing happened.  Now put yourself in the closet with a Matthew Fox look alike.  You're welcome!  He needs to be able to trust you too.  Jealousy stems from trust and it ruins relationships.

10.  Control.  Can you let go of some of the control in your life?  If I can't watch Once Upon a Time, then you can't watch Cops.  Hello Family Guy!!  See what I did there?  Being in a relationship means having to answer to someone and compromising.

Those things don't sound so bad if you found the right person, but for the Love of God, slow down! Don't be that girl that needs a man to survive!!  You know that girl that never goes longer than 3 days without a boyfriend...  Waiting until you're 100% ready will save you and a man a hell of a lot of trouble.  I know way too many needy, insecure girls to become one of them.  Plus, dating's fun!!  and it makes for great blogging material ;)



  1. That's the most pathetic resolution. Ouch. Maybe I am being harsh. I've always believed you need to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness elsewhere.

    No, I've never watched Lost, but I really want to. I'll have to put that on my list.

  2. Polar Bears, big foot tower thing, hatches, time travel, smoke monsters, the others, the boat people, the dumb ending. Lost? What's that again? haha Definitely one of my favorite shows, but nothing beats 24 for me.

    haha yeah that is really sad, most of them don't know what the hell they want either. So it's just plain annoying. Not sure dating is fun, but it can make for stories that's for sure.

  3. Most women are pathetic and can't be by their self. It goes the same way for men which is why I don't have anyone serious right now. You are soo right about self sufficience. I'm totally going to repost these and send this to a few people. I actually needed to read this because I just broke up with my boyfriend because of some of these reasons. He couldn't handle how I strong-minded I'am and have some of these qualitites. I love your writing keep making posts like this.

  4. Yeah, I agree with Downtown Barbie: this should be required reading for some of the folks that I know.

    Your #5 made me laugh. When the Mrs. and first got married, we lived in an apartment with one bathroom. I can remember when it was bedtime, racing to get to the bathroom first. I just needed to brush teeth and flush and was done in 60 seconds.

    If she got to the bathroom first, I was staring at the wall waiting for 30 minutes--I mean what goes on in there anyway?

  5. Love this, love this- I just read it on Downtown Chicago Barbie before I made it here and loved. So true- I definitely think that financial independence is key. I like to know I can take care of myself FULLY before I bring someone else into the equation. I want him to pay for dinner every now and again, not pay my rent. You bring up wonderful points, love.

  6. FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE IS CRUCIAL IN ANY RELATIONSHIP! I think that people who get into for the wrong reasons always fail.

  7. sometimes its good to be single but when you're alone and you feel lonely there you'll think you need the man... but i just belive you don't have to find a man, just let the man come to you :)
    xoxo, Haus of Gala

  8. My husband snores so bad! I have been buying ear plugs by the boxes! As far as sharing the bathroom....It's only a problem when the man leaves his hair all in the sink, on the counter and the floor.

  9. lol aww i love this post! first off, LOST fan right here!!!! :) secondly, im married but i LOVE all the reasons for NOT needing a man right now. no woman ever NEEDS a relationship. dont you understand that it is how its meant to be and love will happen when its supposed to happen? cos i can tell you right now... THEY DO SNORE and the other day my husband elbowed me in the cheek in his sleep!! lol no consideration!! [and i was piiiiiisssedd!!] but i dont let my husband stop me from doing what i want to do because with him, its nice to have someone by my side who supports me. like he supports my decision to start MY own business this year 100%. he is actually alot more supportive than i think alot of men would be cos you know... they like to be the "bread makers". lol

    but maybe my husband is the exception and not the rule [tell me you saw "he's just not that into you" and you know what im talking about!]

  10. if you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?--rupaul

  11. I'm happily married, but I love your post! I hate it when people try to force love or commitment. I hope your friend is like me and isn't very good at keep resolutions!

  12. i was a total lost fan and really need to rewatch the entire thing from beginning to end. i think you have to watch it multiple time and you still don't know what's going on!

  13. Excellent post, I love it! I agree with everything you said. We need to be whole as women and financially independent before rushing into a relationship. I learnt the hard way. I was really insecure when I was younger, and thought that I couldn’t possibly live my life unless I had a man by my side. The result was that I chose the wrong types of men and ended up in quite a few abusive relationships.

    I’ve been single now for 6 years and during that time I’ve actually got to really ‘know me’ and love myself. When I do decide to date again it will be for the right reasons. I will be looking for a man to enhance me, and not someone to build up my insecurities etc.

    I wrote an article for my blog ‘Happy being Single and Loving it’ which explains how great it is to be single. As women, we can achieve a lot on our own before Mr Right comes along.

  14. Brilliant post! I'm so very lucky that I have Mr. right guy.
    I also totally hear DowntownCBarbie on her point about women who just cannot be on their own? I've known a few girls who have gone from relationship to relationship... yikes...

    Depending on what the reasons are for that particular NY resolution (ie hasn't been in a relatinship in forever) I don't see anything wrong with it... everyone should have their own dream or aspiration or even hope!
    Thanks for stopping by! Love this blog! Wishing you all the most amazing things for 2012!

  15. If we're going by your list, I have found Mr. Right. :-)

    And I do roll my eyes when girls repeatedly talk about how much they need a man and get all clingy. It's really not that serious. I have a friend who acts just like this and she drives me up a wall with her BS.

  16. I need to email your list to my friends. For real.

  17. This is an awesome list. This should be a checklist of what to think about and DO BEFORE getting involved!!! Some women don't do half of this stuff. You couldn't have given better advice. I love it! Oh, and psst I love cotton candy too! hahaha I bought my ex the entire dvd collection of Lost. I almost ran away from your post when I read that! It brought back bad memories. hahaha But I luv ya! He did have excellent taste. :)

  18. i am totally sending this to all my friends, it's a must read ;)

    Hope you had a wonderful New Year!

    Check out my blog for a review of V Nunes jewelry, thanks ;)

  19. LOL, I love your breakdown here. It is all very true!


  20. Wow you just described my kid sister! Wish she would read this. Not that she would believe it. sigh


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