Be Mine Or Be Bates!

January is coming to a quick end and February is around the corner.  Before we know it Valentines day is going to come and go.  What are your Valentines day plans?  Since this will be my first Valentine's day single in a few years, my g/f and I decided to be each others Valentines.  Pshhh, who needs boys!?!?!  hahaha  I thought it was going to be a simple girls night with a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, and a crap load of cheesy chick flicks.  I had zero intentions of buying a gift nor receiving one.  Look at me being a Scrooge on the day of loovveee.  hahaha  But then, I signed up for this:

I signed up through Summer's page, Famous In My Own Mind.  It seems like a cute way to get creative and even a little festive.  Maybe I'll make 2 cards.  One for my secret Valentine and the other for my g/f!  lol

Will you be signing up for the card swap?

Why wouldn't you?  You might get me!! =P

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Ok, enough about that silly holiday, and onto my rant!  A few years back Brother and Madre were talking about an actress.  Her name is Kathy Bates.  At the time I had zero clue who she was, so I thought they made her up.  What?  That's not a reasonable conclusion?  For those of you who have no clue who she is, this is what she looks like.

She does exist!!

Well, sometime Sunday night Madre and I starting arguing over Mrs. Bate's existence once again.   Now I just do it to annoy her!  That led to a twitter post that went something along the lines of "I refuse to believe that Kathy Bates exists".  Minutes later I had a response from someone swearing she's very real and ranting that they saw her bare all in a porno. Hold up.  Kathy Bates has a porno???????  Madre and I didn't believe this twitter follower so we laughed it off and went on with life.

I would be lying if I said that the mystery of the porno wasn't eating at my brain.  I had difficulty sleeping that night because I just couldn't bring myself to fathom such a thing.  That's when I got up and dialed Madre at a very unreasonable hour.  Don't give me that look!  Madre had it on her mind too!  I used my little fingers to Google the words "Kathy Bates Porn".  I'm so ashamed that those words escaped my poor little finger tips to be delivered into the world wide web.

That's when it came up.  Some scene from a movie with Jack Nicholson.  The actress was at minimum in her late 50s.  Kathy Bates came out of a home wearing nothing but a robe.  Within seconds the robe was removed from her body and there she was in all her glory.  My eyes!!!!!  They burned!!!  My spleen!!!  It was on the verge of bursting from laughing so hard!!!  I couldn't believe what I just went out of my way to watch.  I saw everything.  The worst part was, Madre made me watch it twice so I could give her a detailed play by play simply because she couldn't believe the horror that we were putting ourselves through.

And then I called in sick to work due to slight vision loss.

What was your worst excuse for missing work?

-Jax

P.S.  Writing this post gave me horrid flashbacks.  I feel another sleepless night coming due to haunting nightmares.  Sigh...