Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Whooping Cough & Voice Control

Did you ever hear of the Whooping Cough?  It is also known as Pertussis.  If not, let me give you the basic facts.  It could be a deadly disease and apparently it's ancient.  According to today's Newsday, it hasn't hit New York since 1999.  There have been 216 reported cases thus far and at least 1 death.  Early symptons of this disease are very similiar to the common cold, but as the illness lingers you may develop coughing fits followed by a high pitched "whoop!".  As serious as this is, I can't help but picture someone plagued with this disease.  "cough, cough, cough, WOOP!, cough cough"  Fun Fact:  I am an unofficial hypocondriac.  or maybe just a germophobe.  Ever since my father informed me about this disease a few days ago, I have been hacking up a lung.  While there have been no "whoops", I still fear that I have contracted Pertusis.  knock on wood!

What does Dr. Fun perscribe during this tramatizing time?  Well, onions of course!!  It turns out that if you sleep with an onion in your room or near your bed, that lovely little vegetable will suck up all the nasty germs and coodies lurking around.  This not only helps your immune system, but it helps stop you from contracting other ailments.  I am going to sleep the entire Winter with a bowl of onions on my night stand.  Let's see if I can make it without contracting one cold!

...and now for the REAL question asked to me by my darling friend, Peaches.
Should I get the iPhone?
I vote no.

There are several reasons why I refuse to join the cult like phenonomen known as the iPhone.  The first reason is because this phone severlely limits an individual's creativity.  Their phone cases are pretty standard, the ringtones are standard, and the customization features are very limited.  This is a phone that YOU need to mold to.  A phone should mold to you.  Think about it.  You are in an elevator and an iphone starts ringing.  How many people in the elevator look down and check their phones?  Well, not LMF...I don't look down unless I hear Rihanna singing "california kingg bedddd".  Sigh...

While those reasons should be enough to deter anyone from purchasing such a pricey cellie just to join the iPhone club, I have more.  No, I'm not referring to the iPhone's HORRIBLE speaker phone.  No, I'm not referring to the iPhone's failed attempt at forcing you to join a contract with at&t Verizon customers are also graced with it's presence now.  No, I'm not even referring to the disgusting little fingerprints that mark the screen of each iphone.  Are you taking notes?? I am referring to the new feature that the iPhone is promoting.  Voice control.  You can now talk into the phone and your cellie will magically fill out the text message for you.  Is this a perk to attract the lazy man, or is it another feeble attempt to control what the public texts to their contacts?! hmmm...

Well, let me tell you about my experience with voice control.  Biff has this feature and he recently sent me a text message saying "Please excuse my side boob".  Who the hell knows what it was REALLY supposed to say?!  And who cares?!  I got a message about a side boob.  hahaha

What do you think about the iPhone?
I vote that the case it comes in should read "Bow down minions!!"


  1. hahaha I'm a germaphobe too, caught some sinus flu thingy once and that's it in the past 12 years. All it takes is washing your hands and avoiding germy people when you see them sneeze and such. Be like Monk and carry a wipe around with you...haha

    My phone is pretty ancient, I use it when need be, so the iphone minions can bite me!

  2. LOL at the bowl of onions LMF! HAHAHAHA I didn't know that. But whooping cough is extremely dangerous. I usually hear it affecting children though. Oh gosh, I'm an iphoner but haven't updated. It does limit you, but I'm a minimalist so I don't require fancy ringtones and such. It does what I need it to do. HAHA Wishing you a great day my friend.

  3. I've been hacking up a lung for a couple of weeks now. Trying to isolate myself but it's hard with kids. Grrr. I haven't Whooped though so maybe i'm just sick. NO to the Iphone. It'll suck you in.

  4. I've heard that about onions, and I think it's true!

  5. Droid! I despise iPhones(but love my iPod)

  6. i LOVE my iphone..but im partial so...i would go with any carrier but at&t...they really do suck!!

  7. I hope you didn't get pertussis! That cough is really a pain.
    Feel better!

  8. haha, well I debated this as well when I was up for a new phone. I kept going back and forth between the droid or the iphone- after many reviews, I went with the iphone. I must say- I really love it. I DO definitely get annoyed of the lack of flash on there (that is by far the worst part), but the other things don't bug me like the ringtone and stuff (though I wish I had rihanna as well). It is expensive but I do like it. With that said, I'm sure you'd be just as happy with another smart phone that suits you better.

  9. LOL that sounds hilarious xDDD Nah, apple is evil. That's why Eve wasn't allowed near it.

    Unfortunately I'm hooked and the world has been condemned to damnation.

    On the bright side though, we get to listen to great music xD

    Awesome post!

  10. my sister had whopping cough when we were kids and it was awful!


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