The Maintenance Man that works in a shed and drives a cart.

It’s Friday morning and you know what that means..another drool inducing picture of the sexy Ian Somerhalder.  Yup, there he is as Damon Salvatore.  (My Thursday night high just came back for a quick revisit ::fans myself::) He’s a welcomed ray of sunshine after an on going 2 full weeks of rain and gross humidity.  (Bleh!  I miss straightening my hair and I am sick of this poof ball of a hair do that I’ve been forced to rock for 2 weeks.) On top of the gross weather, it seems as if someone decided to empty out a plane full of fruit flies over Long Island.  They have been EVERYWHERE.  My school, my apartment, and even my job are all infested.  It’s disgusting.  (As LLS has told me several times before, “Fruit flies are very aggressive”. LOL Other then drowning in your drink, what can they do to you?  Fly at your face full speed ahead? Hahaha)

Look at that smirk! Yum!

Madre recently moved into a new condominium with Brother.  (My mother has MS and is in a wheel chair.  Although she has a great attitude, she can not walk long distances.  She can only take a few steps with a walker around the house.) When my mom moved into her new pad a few months ago, the maintenance man immediately caught her eye.  She called me up within seconds to tell me about this hot guy riding around in a maintenance cart and how his partner in the shed is Ron.  (Um, what? Lol)  Since she is handicapped, she never had the opportunity to run outside and speak with him.  (I was disappointed to learn that the Maintenance Man would not be attending the block party that took place a few weeks back.  I asked for him, but Madre’s wacky neighbor informed me that he lives with his parents in the complex and that he should be back to school upstate somewhere.  False Info.)

Wednesday Madre had a dermatologist appointment.  Nanny and Papa (My grandparents) came to pick her up.  As they were walking her into the car Madre spotted the hot Maintenance Man driving his maintenance cart down the road.  She started screaming at this stranger to stop and talk to her.  (No, she never actually met the guy.  She’s only seen him.  He must’ve thought she was a nice nutcase trying to flag him down!) So he pulls over his cart and Madre introduces herself.  She tells him something along the lines of “I’ve seen you around the complex driving your cart.  I told my daughter about you and how good looking you are.  She wanted to see for herself and was very disappointed that you didn’t attend the block party!”  She went on to explain the misinformation that her wacky neighbor passed along to us.  The Maintenance Man quickly informed her that he graduated from college and that he does not live with his parents.  He has his own condo in the complex (Score!!!).  He never mentioned a girlfriend and he never said he wasn’t interested, so of course Madre took it a step further.  She goes on to explain “Well, I would love for my daughter to meet you.  She looks just like me (Now Madre points to Nanny), but she has my mother’s boobs.”  (MOM!!!!! THAT’S HOW YOU DESCRIBE ME??  Forget the  accounting job I have, or that I recently moved into a new place, or that I go to school at nights…no…she tells him that I have big boobs.  Figures  How embarassingggg!!)  Now Papa is fuming because Madre exploited his wife’s chest to some young, sexy man driving around on a cart heading to “the shed”.  So he rushes them into the car and they leave without making any further progress.

When they returned from the dermatologist, Nanny sees a note on the door.  The note reads “My name is The Maintenance Man (just kidding, he put his real name lol) I just fixed a sprinkler in front of your condo.  If you need any help with anything else, please let me know.  This is my cell phone number.”  So now Madre, of course, needs to call him and see WHY he left the note because she isn’t even aware of any sprinkler in front of her condo.  Why does she THINK he left the note?  Lol.  Last I heard about this was yesterday.  Apparently, she left the Maintenance Man a voicemail asking him to return her call.  I haven’t heard whether or not he called her back yet.  This whole crazy story left me with 3 questions.

1.       Did he leave the note because he’s interested in meeting a nice girl or because of my cup size?

2.       Did he leave the note because he was being nice to a disabled woman or was just being courteous in general?

3.       And how hot is he exactly? LOL!!  If he’s that hot, I might be spending some time on Madre’s stoop with a Glamour magazine waiting for a cart to drive by…or better yet, I might be doing my Pilates routine in front of “The Shed”!

This is what happens when you have a crazy Italian family!

-LMF

P.S.  I lost my peacock ring at work yesterday.  I’m very upset.  I left a sign in the bathroom hanging on the paper towel dispenser that says “My peacock ring is missing.  Please call this number if found.”  There has been no news yet..sigh.  RIP: Peacock Ring.  It’s been real.  L