Saturday, September 10, 2011

Fortune Friday

There really is no great opening for this, so I'll just spill.  I spoke to a psychic on Friday.  In order to fully understand the creepiness of this situation, you need to know what the woman looked like.  She was a middle aged woman with very tan skin.  She had only a few teeth and a thick accent.  With bugged out eyes and this loud, dramatic voice she said to me "You will live a long life.  You have the gift of longevity, but that doesn't mean you will be happy.  You have been cursed.  The negative energy that has been cursed upon you will stop you from ever having a successful relationship.  You will have no problem finding good men, but you will never be able to keep one."  Ok, random and freaky, I'm aware.  I was very upset to hear this horrible news.  I asked her who would put a curse on me and how do I get rid of it?  She responded with well you need spiritual help of course! (of course, how dumb am I?! Everyone knows to seek spiritual aid when they have been cursed with the "not able to keep a good man" curse.)  Then she went on to explain that for $150 she can do spiritual research and figure out who put the curse on me and advise me on how to get rid of it.  Scam much???  I'm not convinced.  It is like someone telling you to do the Macarena or you'll die.  I don't know about you guys, but I'm doing the dam Macarena just to be safe!!!  I might even do it twice and get a witness to watch so I can prove that I did it right!!!

My dad, The Viking, cracked up and said that it was a scam.  He basically told me not to be dumb and that some whack-a-doo  (ok, so maybe he didn't use the term "whack-a-do" but you get the point) claiming to be a psychic just wants $150 to put in her pocket.  Madre told me to google it.  (Google it?  What exactly do I google?  How to know if you are cursed…um)   She claims google knows all.  Well, I did google it.  Turns out it is very common for psychics to tell people they are cursed.  It is a common scam to get money from people who are desperate for an answer to whatever it is they are looking for.  While this should make me feel better, I'm still not convinced.  What if this is a warning from some higher power and I ignore it only to live out my full life realizing that the curse is real?

I've been to psychics before.  I have only been to one that has been seriously convincing.  Her name was Mercy and she knew EVERYTHING and anything.  She even knew people's names.  She asked about one of my friends by his name and then went on to say that he's in love with me.  She asked about another friend by name only to ask why I haven't visited her since she moved away?  You can't get more convincing than that.  Her big prediciton:  I am going to meet my soul mate and marry him.  He will have an accent, most likely a French Canadian accent.  His name is something similar to Arnold.  He also goes to the gym.  She also knew specifics about me.  Every prediction she made regarding the past 2 years have been accurate.  So who knows, maybe I'll meet my French Canadian in Paris this December.  Oui Oui!!  Either way…Mercy never told me I was cursed?!  Sigh…

I believe in an Arabic saying:  Maktub.  It roughly translates to, it was written.  That being said, I will be saving $150 dollars and putting it towards my rent…sigh.

-LMF

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