Monday, August 29, 2011

A Swedish Toast

In the midst of all the hustle of this weekend, I’ve had zero time to actually sit down and think.  That’s a good thing.  I didn’t spend one second contemplating my break up with LLS.  Instead, I moved all my things from apartment #1 to apartment #2.  The move had to be done quickly because I was racing Hurricane Irene and a pick up time to babysit my 1 year old god son.  I should have my own show on HGTV: How to move, unpack, and decorate like a hurricane’s coming! It would be a hit!!  After class tonight (yes, today is my first day in my new college!!!), I will post some pictures to see what you guys think.

So last night during the 2nd commercial break from Real Housewives of New Jersey, I finally thought about the break up.  I realized that I can’t sit home and mope.  I need to go out and be myself!!  That got me thinking more…before my relationship with LLS really took off, I was seeing The Swede.  He is an ex-Olympic boxer from Sweden.  He moved to the US 2 years ago to be with his father after his daddy got diagnosed with cancer. L  While his father is in remission, the Swede and I would go out and have a great time.  He’s not exactly relationship material, but he’s deff a great piece of eye candy and a party in a body!!  He’s also VERY into me.  At least once every 2 weeks he would text me to see if I “was single yet”.  He’s about 24 years old, 6’4, dirty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, rock solid body, and an accent similar to Arnold Swartzenager.  Swooning already.  Sigh…

The problem:  Communication.  I can’t understand a single word the man says.  What I do understand, gets lost in translation…

Here comes the flashback:  When him and I were “together”, we went to the Melting Pot (a really nice fondue restaurant with the best wine..mmm Dark Chocolate fondue and carbonated white wine.  Delicious!) We went with a bunch of my best friends.  There must have been about 10 of us total.  After sitting down for only 10 minutes, the Swede went to grab my thigh with his gigantic, manly hands.  The poor guy reached over too far and grabbed my male friend’s thigh instead.  It looked like my male friend had a spring in his seat that shot him 10 feet in the air!  While that should’ve made the fact that he grabbed the wrong leg obvious enough, the Swede turned around and said to me “You have a very big thigh”…really??  Biff and I were PEEING!!  A few more minutes passed when I heard “cling, cling cling” amongst all our chatter.  It was the Swede tapping his wine glass with a fork.  After getting everyone’s attention, and I mean EVERYONE including other tables surrounding us, he stood up with his glass in the air and proclaimed “I would like to make a toast.  It was very nice to meet all of you” and then sat back down like nothing happened.  Biff turned around, looked at me and said “Did he just make a toast?”  I said yes, I think so.  The Swede then looked embarrassed and said to me, “Isn’t that what you do in America?”  I wanted to slide under the table and hide there for the rest of the night.  He got half the restaurant hyped up for no reason and left them all with the wtf face.  A few minutes later, I sneezed quietly.  Everyone said bless you but the Swede got all startled and said “Are you seek?  You need some mageek keeses from me!  Kees kees!!!” Translation:  Are you sick?  You need some magic kisses from me.  Kiss kiss. At that note, we all got up and left cracking up…and no worries, he was laughing with us.

Bottom line, we had great chemistry.  When he went to Pacha in NYC, we had to stop at every staircase landing for a hot and heavy make out session.  We had a lot of fun.  He was great to play with while looking for a real relationship.  So what do you think?  Should I start to hang out with him again, or should I sit around and wait for Mr. Right?  I’ll end this post with what the Swede said to me the day I broke up with him at Starbucks “Well, I thought we were good together.  Last night I had a dream that you and I were married and you made me spaghetti for breakfast.” …oh boy…



  1. Haha! Your Swede cracks me up :-) you should see him again. Even if only to have a laugh with.

  2. I agree! 3 wins: Nice to look at, makes me laugh, and I'll get some great blogs posts :) He's a good time, and a good time is always welcome!


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